Why You Need To Start Loving Your Self Right Now! Everything You Need To Know About Self-Love
With Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought now would be a good time to talk about the most important relationship you will ever have; the one with yourself. Self-Love is essential for us to live a happy and fulfilling life. If it’s so important, why is so hard for us to find a little love for ourself?
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What is Self-Love?
Self-love is considered one of the basic human necessities, and yet so many of us struggle with it. Some believe they don’t deserve it and others are convinced that loving themselves is narcissistic. Both are wrong.
Many people confuse self-love with self-care. Although it can be a part of self-care, self-love isn’t just treating yourself to a spa day. It encompasses so much more.
It is a deep state of appreciation for yourself. Self-love is accepting yourself for exactly who you are right now, regardless of what you have or have not accomplished. It is cherishing what makes you unique. It’s showing yourself compassion and taking responsibility for your own happiness.
Think of it this way. When an airplane is in distress, we are told to put our own oxygen masks on before helping anyone else with theirs. The reason? If we try to help others before putting on our own mask, we will be unconscious before we get the opportunity to help anyone else. Self-love is the same. We need to love ourselves first or we will have nothing to give to others.
This is not arrogance or vanity. Instead, it is a recognition that you are worthy of respect, happiness, nurturing and above all love, especially your own.
The Importance of Self-Love
Now that we know a little bit about what self-love is, the question becomes, do we really need it? Yes! We really do!
Lack of self-love can affect us emotionally, mentally and physically.
A lack of self-love can lead to:
- Insomnia
- Stress and anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Weight fluctuations
- Memory loss
- Depression
- Headaches
- Chronic pain
- Increased risk of heart attack
Aside from the above issues, lack of self-love can cause us to sabotage ourselves, pushing the good things away. When we believe that we are unworthy of good in our lives, we can create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Without self-love, even our relationships suffer. We can’t teach others how to love us if we don’t know how to love ourselves. On top of that, we depend fully on our partners for all of our emotional needs, because we are unable to provide them for ourselves. We look outside of ourselves instead of within.
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We can not thrive without self-love
All areas in our lives are affected by how we feel towards ourselves. .
We become people-pleasers and perfectionists. Seeking approval from others instead of ourselves. The need to fill the void within us can cause us to become desperate for that approval. This can then lead us to choosing unhealthy and even dangerous relationships. We will put up with more because deep down we don’t believe we deserve better.
When I was younger, I didn’t believe I was worthy of love. My own or anyone else’s. Because of this, my relationships never lasted. At the time, I blamed it on there being “no good men left” and believed I was just unlucky in love. Looking back, I now realize I chose people who were wrong for me and emotionally unavailable because I didn’t feel I deserved anything more than that.
When you love yourself, you chose people and experiences that are good for you. You know that you deserve the best and will accept nothing less.
Why is it So Hard to Love Yourself?
For most of us it is much easier to love others than to love ourselves. We are taught (sometimes by well-meaning care takers), that loving ourselves is selfish. That it is much more valiant to give all of ourselves to others. What they fail to mention is that if we give everything to others, we have nothing left to give ourselves.
When we believe that self-love is narcissistic, it starts the process of self-deprecation.
Is this you? When someone says you look nice do you respond with, “Really? My hair is a mess. I hate these jeans, they make me feel fat.”
Here’s the problem. The more we put ourselves down, the easier it is to believe those damaging remarks. We have successfully trained ourselves to let in the negative and deny any compliments.
Stop Comparing Yourself!
As humans we have a very bad habit of comparing ourselves to others. What’s worse is that we compare ourselves to others that are at the end of their journey, not in the midst of it. What do I mean by that? We look at someone who is successful and think “man I wish I could be like them.” However, they have been working at it for 20 years, while we have just started this year.
Comparing ourselves to anyone else is a waste of our energy. It is even more of a waste to compare ourselves to someone further along in their journey than we are.
We are all unique individuals that have a purpose that is equally unique. Comparing ourselves to someone else is like a bird comparing itself to a moose, it’s silly. Embrace your individuality!
If that weren’t enough, the media contributes to our difficulties in finding self-love. Advertisements present us with impossible body image expectations. Expectations that for men and women are impossible to live up to. Even the models can’t live up to them and are therefore digitally altered to meet that impossible standard! How can we possibly live up to these images?
The Inner Critic & Other Pesky Voices in Our Head
Inner Critic
Our inner critic is one of the biggest obstacles to cultivating self-love. It speaks to us in “always’ and nevers”
- You will never get that promotion.
- You’ll always be alone.
- You will never be taken seriously.
Sound familiar? If you hear statements like this in your head, it is likely your inner critic interfering. Yes! Your inner critic is an absolute bitch!
However, your inner critic isn’t doing this to hurt you. In fact, it is trying to keep you safe. It does not want you to go out and risk failure or humiliation. Unfortunately, you can’t succeed unless you take some risks. Failure is nothing more than a learning experience on the road to success.
From Critic to Cheerleader
There are a few ways to work with your inner critic. One temporary fix includes thanking it for the advice and asking it to go on a vacation somewhere nice. If your inner critic is being really bothersome, you may have to teach it how to be your cheerleader.
The next time your inner critic starts criticizing you, tell it very clearly that you will not listen to it if it is going to insult you. It needs to be constructive if it wants to be heard. It needs to tell you how you can improve next time.
For example, you just finished doing a podcast interview and your critic starts telling you how terrible it was. “You sucked! Everyone is going to think you are stupid and have no idea what you are talking about.” Before letting this go any further, tell your critic “I will not listen to you if you are going to talk to me like that. If you have some advice you’d like to share with me, you can do so in a kind and constructive way. How could I improve for the next interview?” Your inner critic may respond with something like “it would be better if you spoke a little slower during the podcast next time.” To which you may reply “Thank you. Is there anything else?” This little dialog may continue for awhile and it is a good idea to take notes.
Like I said, our inner critics are not trying to hurt us. It want what’s best for us, but it needs us to teach it how to serve us in a better way.
Read my post on the inner critic to learn more
The Perfectionist
The perfectionist is one of my biggest enemies. I still struggle with taming my perfectionist.
Often our the perfectionist will work along side the inner critic. The conversation may sound a little like this “That’s it? That’s the best you can do? You aren’t actually going to use that are you? There is a smudge on that paper! Everyone is going to think you are an amateur. No one is going to take you seriously. You are never going to succeed if that’s the kind of work you put out. You will always be failure.”
Here’s the real tricky part with the perfectionist. Everyone thinks that your perfectionist pushes you to produce impeccable work. That it helps you to do everything perfectly. The part most people don’t realize is that often the perfectionist just causes us to give up. It puts the idea in your head that if you can’t do it perfectly, you might as well not do it at all. The really sad part is people who deal with this sort of overt perfectionism, (thanks to a little prompting from their inner critic), think they are just lazy. They are not lazy, they just haven’t figured out how to deal with their perfectionism.
How to Curb Your Perfectionist
When dealing with your perfectionist, you start by making a list of the pros and cons of your perfectionism. By looking at what it is keeping you from accomplishing your goals, you get a more realistic view of your perfectionism.
It is also a good idea to ask “What is the worst thing that would happen if…
- I had a spelling mistake in my work
- The paper was smudged
- I was two minutes late
- There was a wrinkle in my shirt
- I didn’t make my bed like Martha Stewart
The perfectionist has unrealistic expectations. It’s not the end if the world if you have any grammatical errors in your email to let that guy, who put up posters for his lost chinchilla Bob, know that it is your not you’re. (Of course if you are emailing a stranger to let them know they are using incorrect grammar, your perfectionism may not be your biggest problem.)
Finally, try to purposely not be perfect. Find a few things that are not too important that you can practice this with. For example, try being two minutes late to your Zoom coffee date with your best friend. Try going to the corner store without ironing your jeans. Put something out there after only editing it for an hour instead 3 weeks. Take baby steps and don’t worry too much about it. It doesn’t have to be perfect!
If your perfectionist is out of control read How to Know if You’re a Perfectionist
Limiting Beliefs
Many times what is fuelling our perfectionist and inner critic is our limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are born of our experiences and the experiences of those closest to us. They are beliefs that become our truth and keep us from achieving all our goals. They limit us.
Being bullied or abused can devastate ones ability for self-love and create damaging limiting beliefs. “I must be unloveable to be treated that way,” is just one of the limiting beliefs that can develop. These beliefs become mantras is our head, making self-love even more unrealistic.
To learn more about your limiting beliefs check out my post Limiting Beliefs; What They Are and How to Make Them More Empowering.
Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
To transform your limiting beliefs, first you need to become aware of them. Pay attention to your thoughts. Particularly thoughts that start with “I am…” or “I never…”
Some examples of limiting beliefs are:
- I am unloveable
- Nothing ever works out for me
- I am a failure
- There is not enough to go around
- I am not good enough
- The world is scarce
- I am unlucky
- I am cursed
Once you are aware of your limiting beliefs, turn them to positive affirmations. Here are the above examples as affirmations:
- I am loveable
- Everything works out perfectly for me
- I am successful
- There is more than enough to go around
- I am good enough
- The world is abundant
- I am lucky
- I am blessed
Just remember, when working with affirmations, use only positive language in the present tense. Instead of saying “I’m not a failure” you would use “I am successful” Don’t use “I will be…” use “I am…”
If you would like too do more work on your limiting beliefs you can download my free limiting beliefs worksheet here: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/z9s0j4
It’s Time to Forgive and Forget
Another obstacle that keeps many of us from ever finding self-love is not being able to forgive ourselves. We believe that we deserve to be punished for our mistakes. That whatever we have done is worse than anything anyone else has ever done. Therefore our punishment never seems to end.
We all make mistakes. Some small and some not so small. It is just part of being human. The sooner we can accept this, the sooner we can forgive ourselves and start moving towards self-love.
To forgive yourself it is helpful to acknowledge what you have done out loud with no judgement. (Yes, I know that’s really hard too do. If you do catch yourself being judgemental, try not to judge yourself for judging yourself.)
Look for the lesson. Is there a lesson you can learn from this? How can this experience make you a better person? If you are having a hard time finding the lesson, you can try journalling or meditating.
Finally, move on. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s what you do next that matters.
A Little Self-Love Each Day
Here are some of my favourite ways to practice self-love.
Start a gratitude journal.
Everyday write at least 5 things you are grateful for. As you write each of them down allow yourself experience the feeling of gratitude. Journal about why you are grateful for each thing you have written down.
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Meditate 4-5 times a week for at least 10 minutes.
Your meditation may be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing on your breath. If you aren’t sure how to begin, try searching for guided meditations online or you can download one of mine here: https://metaphysicalmama.com/shop/
If you want to learn more about mediation read my post https://metaphysicalmama.com/how-to-meditate/
Write an “I Rock” List.
Make a list of of all your best qualities, all the reasons you rock. Include how those qualities have served and benefited you over the years.
Try EFT Tapping for Self-Love
Schedule time to show yourself some love.
At least once week schedule some time to do something that nurtures your soul. It may be something creative, like painting, drawing, colouring, knitting or maybe joining a dance class. Do yourself a favour, take some time for yourself. Taking an hour out of your time to read that trashy novel may be the perfect way to tell yourself that you matter. The important thing is to prioritize yourself. Do something that makes you feel good and don’t apologize for it.
Who’s keeping score? You are!
Keep a list of all of your successes both great and small. It can be a daily or a weekly list, just make sure you write down every win you have. Refer back to your list whenever you need a boost of confidence.
Write a love letter to yourself.
Include everything you love and admire about yourself. Write why you love and admire those qualities. Let yourself know how you are going to love and honour yourself moving forward. Make the letter as mushy and sentimental as you can. Spray a little perfume on it, draw hearts and seal it with a kiss. Keep your letter and refer back to it whenever you need a little extra love.
Conclusion
Loving ourselves is the most important thing we can do. It makes us stronger and more resilient. Helping us to overcome the challenges we face in life. It gives us the confidence to take risks and go after the things we want.
This Valentine’s Day how about doing something special for yourself. Make yourself a special meal. Have a home spa day. Get yourself flowers. Celebrate the most important person in your life…You!
Here’s an article about How to Have a Date With Yourself This Valentine’s Day. https://www.elitedaily.com/p/how-to-have-a-date-with-yourself-this-valentines-day-according-to-experts-8179981
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Totally love this post! This is actually my motto for this Valentines Day 😂 I’m not even sad about it. I recently just learned the importance of loving myself and making myself my priority in life. I have always looked for other things to make me feel happy, until just these past few years, and I realized that I need to focus on myself more. It’s a very important matter that a lot of us often overlook. Self-love is necessary for all people to realize our worth. Thanks so much for sharing this 😊
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post.
I think it’s wonderful that you are on your own self-love journey.
Everything we need to be happy is within ourselves and once we realize that, we are able to share that happiness with everyone around us. We no longer depend on others to fulfill our needs. This takes a lot of pressure off of our relationships. Which leads to much healthier ones and more importantly it leads to a healthy and fulfilling relationship with ourselves. I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day full of self-love!! ❤️
Amazing and just what I needed to hear. Thanks for taking the time to write something so true and raw. You have a great talent!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! 💕
Beautiful blog, I always mix self-love and selfsame. Thank you for sharing x
Thank you!! I appreciate that!
Self love is definitely so important! Thanks so much for sharing this important reminder
Thank you so much for your comment!!
This is truly beautiful and there are so many important messages! When you learn to stop comparing yourself, the world feels brighter too! xx
I agree, it does feel a little brighter.
Thanks so much for your comment!
Wow, this was such an eye opening and relatable post all at the same time! Learning to love yourself can be so difficult but it’s so important! Thank you for sharing some great tips and advice!
Thanks! I’m so glad it resonated with you.
Although loving yourself can be difficult, it is definitely worth the effort! 💕
I love the idea of writing a love letter for myself. It’s something you can keep for whenever you’re feeling a bit down and have a look at to cheer yourself up. Great post and tips here.
Thank you! I’m so glad you liked the love letter exercise. They’re great to look back at, when you need a little boost.
I love how in depth this blog post goes. Self love and self care etc are hot buzzwords online and while it is a very important concept alot of posts I come across just fall short of really getting to the nitty gritty of how to self love everyday. I personally struggle so much with my inner dialogue and it’s a work in progress everyday, but the best suggestion I ever got ( which you covered in this post!) Is when you’re facing the unknown ask yourself ” ok what’s the worst that can happen?”
This really helps tame the irrational and emotional ego that can take so many of us down with it.
Ty again for another great post
Thank you so much! I am so glad you’ve found this post helpful. My inner dialog can get away from me as well. Asking myself “what’s the worse that can happen?” has been really helpful for me too.
This is such an important topic. You’ve included some really helpful tips too. I was taught from a young age that you have to love and accept yourself before you can truly let someone else in.
That is a great lesson! Thanks so much for your comment!
I love this article so much! Ever since I started blogging, I get so frustrated with myself because it takes me a long time to write one simple post. I do not have patience with myself. I love what you said about Self-love: accepting yourself for exactly who you are right now, regardless of what you have or have not accomplished. It is cherishing what makes you unique. It’s showing yourself compassion and taking responsibility for your own happiness. I needed to hear that.
The inner critic & other pesky voices in my head are destroying me, so I want to work on that. Thank you so much for sharing this incredible post! I love it!
Thank you!! I am so happy that this post resonated with you! Our inner critic and perfectionist can wreak havoc on our lives, keeping us from doing what we love and being the person we long to be. Please let me know if you need any support in your journey. I’m happy to give some pointers in ways to work with your inner critic.
Oh, I love this post dearly! You are so right, self-care and self-care is different. I see myself and my old habits so much throughout this post. Especially before the pandemic, I was all over the place, a people pleaser and neglected myself so much. I’m learning as I go but it feels so good to take care of myself and set boundaries. I do believe that you need to fully love yourself before extending the love to others! I also think that focusing on others before yourself is self sabotaging and will heavily affect the other person in the future. I’m working on it and loving the process!! Thanks for sharing these great tips x
http://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
Thanks so much Lynn! I am so happy to hear you enjoyed this post!
It’s wonderful that you are learning to take better care of yourself and set boundaries. I think a lot of us were taught that to love someone means we have to put them first all the time, it’s not true, but it’s a really tough habit to break.
I’m so excited that you are dispelling those beliefs and enjoying the process! You Rock!!
I am such a perfectionist, it took me such a long time to love myself and it’s still a journey, but I’m getting there! Thank you for sharing your amazing advice and tips!
Katie | katieemmabeauty.com
Just like any other relationship, the one we have with ourselves takes work. You will have good days and bad day. The trick is to not get too caught up in the bad days. It’s a journey, not a day trip, but it is well worth the effort.
I think people really underestimate how much power that self limiting beliefs can have on the mind. I’ve been through it and even now I struggle with it. Sometimes you really have to battle with yourself, but once you learn to love yourself life is so much more liberating.
Thanks so much for your comment.
It’s true, limiting beliefs can have a huge effect on us. They can keep us from doing all the wonderful things we are meant to do. If you’re interested in reading more about limiting beliefs I have a post specifically on them here https://metaphysicalmama.com/limiting-beliefs-what-they-are-and-how-to-make-them-more-empowering/
Self Love is a bless! Thank you for the amazing post.
Thank you so much for your comment!
Beautifully put. Self-care is a show of self-love. We need to take care of ourselves to
Absolutely! 💕
This was such an interesting post to read! I definitely struggle with self love mainly because of the devil that is comparison!
Katy | http://www.katystephenson.com
Comparison is one of my devils as well. My advice is to try to catch yourself in the act and then tell yourself out loud to stop. Then immediately find something to compliment yourself on, even if it’s something small. By doing that, you are reprogramming your brain to stop comparing yourself and to start appreciating yourself. 💕
I am my worse critic cause I always think I can do things better! I like the idea of writing love letters to oneself!
Tell your critic to shut it and shower yourself with love instead. 🥰
Its easier said than done but I won’t stop trying. Thanks for this great post! Siobhan ♡ | Vegan Babe Life
It is easier said than done, but it is worth the effort. Please keep trying and feel free to reach out for support. I offer free breakthrough sessions if you’re interested and I am always available to answer questions. xox
I think we all need to hear this sometimes! I’m definitely guilty of being too much of a perfectionist sometimes and judge myself more harshly than I would someone else. They can be hard habits to break! x
They can be really hard habits to break. We tend to judge ourselves so much more harshly than others. One trick I learned is to think about how we would act towards a friend in the same situation. Then treat ourselves that way, even if it feels a little awkward. The more we do it, the more natural it becomes.
Brilliant post! I feel like for most self-love is definitely a work in progress and it definitely is a practice. I have improved so much over the years and this post provides some wonderful points xxx
That’s wonderful! I love hearing that! 😊
Thanks for the comment.
I’m still working on a great self-love relationship with myself. But it’s totally true – when you don’t love yourself you can push people away and miss opportunities that can change your life.
Thanks for writing this post! I really needed to hear this today.
I am so glad this post came to you when you needed it! Self-love is a life long journey. It ebbs and flows like any other relationship. Stick with it and remember you are deserving of love, especially your own!
There’s so many blogs and advice out there now about “self care” but I like how you differentiate that with self love, and provide honest practical applications for taking steps to change our inner dialogue which can plague us and hold us back so much to the point of self sabotage.
Another fantastic and detailed post!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! 💕
Self care has really been challenging for me at home. I always feel like I need to be productive and doing a task on my list instead of resting or doing something just for fun. Recently I started meditating and journaling and it has done wonders for my mental health! Even if it’s just a few minutes a day it makes a huge difference
I get caught up in this too. I have to remind myself that if I don’t take care of myself, I am no good to anyone else.
I think it’s wonderful that you are taking the time to meditate and journal. They are both such wonderful ways to practice self-care.
Beautiful words! Thank you so much for sharing! ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind comment! 💖
I absolutely loved your article. It is so hard nowadays to self-love especially with the presence of social media that emphasize social cliches. I have this problem because i always tend to perfectionism. I will try to apply what you suggested and hopefully become more confident.
Thank you so much! Perfectionism can be a tough one to overcome, but stick with it and reach out if you need support. 💖
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! Self-love is something I struggled with for so long and something which I’ve finally learned how to have. Self-love is something we all deserve and I think it’s an amazing message that you’re sending. Accepting yourself for who you are is the hardest thing in my opinion, but also the most rewarding. Thank you for bringing such an important topic to life and teaching us all how to self-love that bit more ♥️
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
That is so amazing that you have learned to love yourself! It’s a difficult journey for sure, but absolutely worth the effort.
Yay you!! 🥰
This is an excellent post. We are too often our own worst critics. We have to learn to love ourselves before we can expect anyone to love us.
Thank you so much! I agree 100%. We need to love ourselves before expecting it of others.
Thank you for clarifying the difference between self care and self love. I also wonder if self esteem is part of self love because the inner critic and the perfectionist can also interfere with the appreciation of our own value and also lead to self depreciation. Do you have any blog post about self esteem?
Self esteem is definitely part of self-love. When you love yourself it is easier to build your self esteem, by focusing on your strengths and celebrating your wins. I don’t have a post specifically on self esteem, but maybe I will write one in the future. Thanks for the comment.
Tiffany as always this was such a great post and so timely as February is considered the month of love. Self love even though a main necessity is often cast to the back because life can really throw us curve balls that we don’t even have time to take care of ourselves.
Self love is so important because it has so many benefits for our overall well being. This year I am trying to make a more conscious effort on loving myself.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks Rebekah! I appreciate it.
It can be hard to focus on ourselves, even in the most basic of ways. Like you said life throws us curveballs and we tend to prioritize others over ourselves. I think it’s amazing that you are making an effort for your own self-love this year. It is always worth it!
Such a great read, a lot I can relate with regards showing love to myself and I am worst for comparing myself with others.
Thanks so much! I hear you. I struggle with comparing myself with others too. All we can do is try to remember all the things that make us wonderful and unique and focus on them instead.
I Love this article! Very informative post, thank you so much for sharing this article. Self-love is the key to get out of depression.
Thanks so much!
This post is super interesting <3 I struggle with the perfectionist's voice in my head with so many scenarios. Self-love is super important and I'm working on it, but at the moment I'm accepting liking myself. I used to say in my head, literally all the time, 'I hate myself' 'Why can't you be normal?' etc. I think it's important for me to take small steps ❤
It’s great that you are working on it. Just keep telling that voice in your head that you will only listen to positive reinforcement. Whenever it starts saying things like “I hate myself” stop it and start listing all your best qualities, even the small ones. Eventually it will get the idea. Good luck!💖
WOW… That’s a great blog post right there. I had to learn how to self-love after being diagnosed with Alopecia Areata. It was a long journey, but I now I can say that love myself again.
Thank you so much!
We tend to attach so much of our identity to our appearance. If our appearance changes because of age or illness we suddenly feel we are unloveable. I’m so glad to hear you were able to work through it and find love for yourself again.
Such a great post! Self love is so important. But certainly doesn’t come easily to a lot of people. It’s a journey I’ve been on for around a year now and it’s had such a profound change in my life, well-being and mindset x
Thank you!
Self-love really does have a profound effect on our lives!
I’m so glad you shared this with us, just what I needed today. I used to write down everything nice that happen to me over a year in my planner, and it was nice to look back and read it, and than I just stopped, I should definitely start doing that again. Thank you for remindimng on that 🙂
I’m so glad you found this post right when you needed it! Definitely start writing down the nice things that happen to you again. I would also suggest writing down all the things you like about yourself and all of your accomplishments, even the small ones.🤗
Such a great post! I’ve been practicing self-love for years and it’s so important because there is so many negativity that really easy to destroy our life. Self-love also beneficial for our mindset and well-being x
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post.
Self-love can really can help us overcome many of the obstacles placed before us.
What a wonderful post! Self-appreciation is one of the most important things we can try and do, to really feel all of the other moments that might come along
Thanks so much! I agree, it is one of the most important things we can do.
I loved this post, it’s very much a trip down all the things I should be doing and I currently don’t. I am going to save this and re-read it on a bad day, when the self-love (already depleted) is on very much low.
Thank you x
Thank you!
I hope you are able to fill that self-love tank up to overflowing. My advice is don’t wait until a bad day, start filling it up now. If you need any support, please don’t hesitate to contact me. 💕
The inner critic is a killer. No one can believe I deal with imposter syndrome but wow I struggle to be confident that I deserve to be where I am professionally.
The inner critic and imposter syndrome is such a challenge for anyone who puts themselves out there, like you do with your blog. When we share our knowledge and experiences we can easily get caught up in thoughts like “why would anyone want to listen to me?” The truth is, we all have something to share and a unique voice to do so. Whenever imposter syndrome comes up, just remember someone out there needs to hear exactly what you have to say in your unique voice. xx
This is fantastic. I’m going to make my teenage daughter read this. I definitely would have benefited knowing all of this when I was younger 💗
Thanks so much!
I hear you! I wish they taught self-love in schools. We would all be so much better off. 💖
I am very guilty of not loving myself enough and being very hard on myself if I don’t live up to my own expectations I have put in place for myself. This year I am trying to change that and learn how to love my body and my mind the way I should. Easier said than done sometimes but it is a journey of exploration and I have opened up my mind to start this journey. It is incredible the lack of self love and care can cause if you are not careful. I have been recently diagnosed with 2 chronic illnesses due to an accident and so this is extra important for me. Thank you for sharing this post.
Lauren http://www.bournemouthgirl.com
It can definitely be a challenging journey, but also a rewarding one. Be gentle and patient with yourself. It’s not easy to change our perceptions of ourselves. Please let me know if you need any support. I’m always happy to help. xx
Love this post! Self love is so important. Thank you for sharing ❤️
I’m so glad you liked this post! Thanks so much for your comment! 💖
Self love is so important. I don’t think you can truly understand who you are or love someone else until you love yourself first.
I agree, self-love has got to come first!
Thanks for the comment!
ugh, comparison is so hard these days, especially with social media.
you are so spot on! loved everything about this post. thanks for sharing
Thanks so much! I appreciate it!
Thank you so much for writing this post. Advocating self-love can really help so many people. I think the lack of self-love really drives destruction within so many people. And often it is a problem, we don’t always see. So many people hold in their troubles and we don’t even know they are struggling until it’s too late.
xo Erica
It’s true. We have been taught to hide our problems and struggles. That they are a sign of weakness. Unfortunately, this keeps so many people who would benefit, from ever reaching out for help. Although this attitude has been changing, we still have a long way to go.
Thanks for your comment!
Yes, yes, yes to this post! Self-love is the most important thing and you’re so right that you can’t truly love someone until you love yourself. Great and insightful post xx
Thank you so much! I appreciate it! 💕
Self love is so important! Especially right now. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your comment!!
Great post! I’ve been working a lot on learning to love myself lately and it’s improved my life dramatically.
That’s amazing! 💕
Thanks for your comment!
I loooove this! Self-love is soo important! You really cannot love someone until you love yourself and you should always put yourself first! Thanks for sharing 😃
https://mariameetskorea.com
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! 😊
This was such an interesting article! Practicing self-love is definitely something I need to do more, cause I tend to talk myself down a lot x
Negative self-talk was one of my biggest obstacles to learning to love myself. Every time you catch yourself talking yourself down, replace it with something loving. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.
Thanks for your comment!
Self love is so importance and it is something I try to implement every day!
Absolutely! It’s wonderful that you’re already finding ways to bring more self-love into your life. 💕
This was a great post with so much wonderful advice and wonderful reminders for all; that self care is very important and should be taken seriously. Thanks for these lovely tips you’ve shared!
Thank you for your lovely comment! 💖
You’re right, one thing I have realized over the years is that unless we have taken care of ourselves and ensured we are in a healthy state of mind, it is difficult for us to help anyone. Loving yourself is so important especially while we are all living under a pandemic and our lifestyles have changed so drastically. Thanks for sharing these tips! 🙂
Thanks for the comment Ming! I agree, right now during the pandemic, self-love and taking care of ourselves is even more important. We have fewer distractions and have been forced to take a closer look at ourselves. Now is the perfect time to take care of ourselves!
Absolutely love and respect your work! Very well thought out and thought-provoking. Thanks xox ❤
Thank you so much Crystel! That means a lot! 💕
A great post via COVID times. I’m a perfectionist and really loved this post!
That’s great! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
Really lovely post. It’s so important that we love ourselves and these are really helpful tips that works.
Thanks! I’m glad you found it helpful.
This is such a great post! I definitely agree self love is so important, but it can be so hard especially when we compare ourselves to others on social media who seem to have it all.
The ways to practice self love that you included as so helpful as well & I love having a gratitude journal! Writing a love letter to yourself is a great idea too!
Thank you!
Gratitude journals are great! I find writing a love letter to yourself, is a lot like writing a gratitude journal dedicated to what you are grateful for about yourself. It is a great way to foster self-love!
I’m definitely my worse critic, I’m also a perfectionist, I get really irritated and anxious if I mess something up. I use to compare myself all the time when I was younger and I slowly got out of that habit. I’m not 100% yet but I’ve been doing better, I speak nicer about myself, I try not to get that upset about a mistake and I accept who I am and how I look now. Really loved this post as I’ve struggled with self love and I’m now on that journey and I’ve been feeling better ever since. 😊
Thanks so much for your comment! I am so glad to hear that you are well on your way to learning how to love yourself. You have already taken some of the most difficult steps. Please feel free to contact me if you need any support or have any questions. I’m always happy to help people on their self-love journey. In the meantime you may want to check out my post on Perfectionism
Wow, this post is so interesting and helpful! Self-love is so important, and especially during these difficult times. Thanks for sharing x
Thanks so much for your comment! I agree, self-love is so important, especially now.
Love this, such an important post, and I completely agree that it is hard for us to truly be able to help and support others if we have very little self esteem ourselves. Unfortunately in the world we are in today, it is very hard for us to love ourselves due to the pressures making us think that we are not good enough, while although we are immersed in a world full of self improvement, there is still the feeling that taking time to look after and to like yourself is selfish.
Thank’s so much for your comment! You make a very interesting point. We live in a world that is constantly talking about self improvement, but also believes that self-love and taking time to care for ourselves is selfish. It is a bizarre paradox. Definitely something to think about.
Oh what a wonderful post! I really needed to read this today. Self-love is just the most important thing! Thank you so much for sharing
You’re very welcome! I’m so happy you found this post when you needed it! Self-love really is the most important thing. 💖
This is a great post. After a change in my life showing myself love is so important. I was very rarely kind to myself but this is going to change. Thank you for sharing.
Lauren bournemouthgirl.com
Thanks Lauren! I’m so glad to hear that you are working towards loving yourself more. It really does make all the difference. Please let me know if you need any support along the way. I’m always happy to help. 💖
this was such an amazing read and reminder that I should implement on this! Self-love is so important and I love to show it to myself with positive affirmations, still need to work on the rest but I feel much better already! Thanks for sharing x
Thanks so much! Positive affirmations are a great place to start when working towards self-love. If you want to take it up a notch, try saying your affirmations in the mirror.
This is a really good post! I think everyone should give this a read as self love is so important. I’m trying to implement this myself, it’s hard but I’m going to work hard at it. Thank you so much for sharing Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
Thanks Elle! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Good luck on your self-love journey and please let me know if you need any support!
Self love is so important. I have struggled with self love a lot. I have been trying to learn to have self love. I hope that one day in the future I will have self love.
Thanks so much for your comment! We are given so many mixed messages about self-love, it can be really difficult to navigate. If you are really struggling with it, please feel free to reach out. I offer free self-love breakthrough sessions you can find out more here if you’re interested https://www.subscribepage.com/r3x5i8 💖
This is such an important post. I’m guilty of being too harsh on myself especially when I’m creating a design or blog post. I always feel something is left out or I’m not doing enough. I’m glad I read this post and take it easy on myself
Thank you for your comment! I’m so glad this post has resonated with you!
As Valentines Day creeps in, it’s great to have this reminder to remember to take care of yourself too. Sometimes I feel like we forget that it’s equally as important to pamper and treat ourselves as much as we do for others.
Thanks for the comment Riyah! It’s so true! Many of us have been taught to put others first and often we completely neglect ourselves.
Oh I love this so much. Self love is truly so important. I think at some point everyone has struggled with it and I think this post will help so many people. Wonderful read and thank you so much for sharing!
Thanks Amanda! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Beautiful post. Very informative and insightful. Self-love needs to be spoken about and taught more. The most impactful and longest relationship we will have is with ourselves, so learning to accept ourselves for who we are is very important. It is the first step in creating and building healthy relationships. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!