Limiting Beliefs; What They Are and How to Make Them More Empowering
What are Limiting Beliefs?
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Limiting beliefs are exactly what they sound like, beliefs that limit us. They develop from our personal experiences and become our truths. We accept them completely and never question their validity. Our trust in these beliefs keep us from doing all the things in life that we want to do. They dictate who we are and what is possible. They prevent us from stepping into our greatness.
Often these beliefs are very specific and personal in nature, such as “I don’t have enough experience to be very good at…” or “I’m too old to do that.“ However, limiting beliefs can also be more general and focus on the world arounds us. For example “The world is not safe,” or “Money is scarce and hard to come by.”
Where Do Limiting Beliefs Come From?
Our limiting beliefs often develop when we are young, coming from our personal experiences and the experiences of those around us. They can also originate from the opinions of the people around us. Our parents, teachers and peers have a strong influence on us, especially when we are children.
The conclusions we draw from these experiences help shape our identity and our world. Some of these conclusions may be accurate and even helpful, unfortunately many are not. We make assumptions about ourselves and everything around us based on a very limited amount of information.
Beliefs Are Strengthened By Our Experiences
It only takes one profound experience, good or bad, for us to draw a conclusion and create a belief. After that, we unconsciously look for experiences that confirm that belief, thereby strengthening it and making it more true to us. As an example, a child who is embarrassed by their teacher in front of the class. That child now believes that teachers are mean. Every time a teacher does something that they feel is mean, that belief is confirmed and strengthened. I bet you are wondering what happens when a teacher does something nice? Nothing. That child either won’t notice it, or will consider it an anomaly and the belief will remain.
Another example is the person who’s parents alway told them that money doesn’t grow on trees? This belief becomes stronger as they watch their parents struggle over finances year after year. As an adult they may also find themselves struggling to make ends meet, living pay cheque to pay cheque. Everywhere they look, that belief of money being scarce is confirmed. If that person is offered a better job, it won’t fit in with their belief, they will tell themselves “I could never do that. I don’t know how to run a business. I’m just a worker.” They will likely turn it down and go back to believing there is not enough to go around.
How Can We Change a Limiting Belief?
If we only notice things that confirm our belief, how can we possibly change it? They say it takes eight positive statements to counteract one negative. Which is why it can be so difficult to change our limiting beliefs. Most of the time we don’t even recognize we are limiting ourselves. So what do we need to do to change our patterns?
Discovering Our Limiting Beliefs
The first step is to recognize we have a limiting belief. Many of us are completely unaware of our thoughts. We just don’t pay much attention to what we are thinking about. Therefore, the first thing to do is to start paying attention.
It is unlikely that you will be able to uncover and change every limiting belief right away, so instead focus on the ones that are holding you back the most, right now. The next step is to look at an area in your life that you struggle in. For example: work, relationships, money or even just having fun. Then ask yourself what it is it that you believe is keeping you from doing better in that area of your life? There will likely be more than one answer. Write them all down.
As an example: I suck at relationships
What do I believe is holding me back: I’m not thin enough, I’m not pretty enough, men don’t like that I’m smarter than them, I don’t know how to have a good relationship, I’m not the type that has longterm relationships, I am not fun enough, I’m too busy to focus on a relationship, I can’t have a career and a relationship, it has to be one or the other.
Those are your limiting beliefs. The things you believe that keep you from achieving the life you want. Once you are aware of the beliefs, it’s time to work on changing them.
Changing Our Limiting Beliefs
To begin changing our limiting beliefs we first have to look at the belief and try to disprove it. Using the example above: “I can’t have a career and a relationship”. You could ask yourself “According to who? Who told me I can’t have both? Is this 100% true all the time? Do I know anyone who does have both?” You may want to journal about each limiting belief you work on. Journalling can help provide insight and discover what is behind them.
While working with your limiting beliefs, consider and journal about what will happen if you continue to believe in them. What will your life look like? What goals will be unattainable? How will these beliefs impact your life? What are the consequences of keeping these beliefs?
Now look at what you could accomplish if you didn’t have that belief. What is possible? What would you do if you had no limits? How would your life look?
Another important step is to replace the limiting belief and find ways to support that new belief. Using the example of “money is hard to come by,” change the belief to something like, “The world is abundant. I know this because I have seen people create wealth. Other people, that are not very different from me have easily created abundance in their lives. I am open to allowing abundance and wealth into my life. I am worthy of abundance and wealth.” You may find it helpful to journal about your new beliefs. Repeating them as affirmations can help you integrate them as well.
For more information on affirmations read my post “How to Make Positive Affirmations Work for You.”
Final Thoughts on Limiting Beliefs
We all have limiting beliefs. What is important is what you choose to do once you discover what they are. Are you going to allow that belief to keep you from living the life you want? Are you going to allow it to keep you from your greatness? I didn’t think so. Remember, live intentionally. What does that mean? Stop doing things on autopilot. Pay attention to your thoughts and the beliefs behind them. Pay attention, and if you don’t like a belief, change it!
If you want more ideas on how to work through your limiting beliefs here’s a post on meditation and limiting beliefs. “6 Ways Meditation Can Transcend Limiting Beliefs”
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It seems to always start with awareness. How can we change if we don’t even know the possibilities when we are tied down by our negative beliefs. Thanknyou for this post!
You’re very welcome!
Yes, it does always seem to start with awareness, doesn’t it? With awareness, we can choose to no longer be tied down by our negative beliefs and open up to the endless possibilities available to us.
I agree with you. Only us can do something to act on our limiting beliefs. Thank you so much for sharing this!
I’m so happy it resonated with you.
excellent work keep it up!
Thank you!!
You are what you eat. You are who you think you are. Change those limiting beliefs. Nice article.
Exactly!! Thank you!!
Yes, limiting beliefs are a big problem! I agree that we all have them and they can hold us back in life. As you say, the first step is awareness – realizing that we have them and what triggers them. Great post!
Thank you for sharing this interesting and informative post.
Thank you for reading it! 💕
Great article!
Do you have thoughts on how someone could help a loved one with their limiting beliefs?
Thank you!
To overcome limiting beliefs, one first must become aware of them. Then it is a matter finding evidence that the belief is wrong. Asking questions like “Is that true 100% of the time?” or “Who told you that is true?” are a good way to start to disproving those beliefs. Be careful though. You can’t force someone to change a limiting belief. They have to want to change their beliefs for themselves. You can however, be there to support them. Good luck!
Great post! Limiting beliefs need to be taken care of to enable us to get a growth mindset
Excellent piece. I’m inclined to agree – only we can change these beliefs and start the process of improving ourselves.
Thank you! It’s true, our personal growth is our own responsibility.
I agreed 100%, we have to believe in ourselves we have to let go of those limited beliefs. Keep up the great work! 🙂
Thank you! Believing in ourselves is key! 😊
This is a subject I have been researching recently, and have discovered the many subconscious beliefs I have to work on. Very informative, thank you for sharing! http://papermintbooks.com/
Thanks for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Limiting beliefs are something I’ve definitely struggled with so this has been really helpful!
I so glad my post has been helpful! Thanks for taking the time to read it!
All your posts are so well explained and so explicit. Just love reading them again and again. Keep writing and keep sharing such positive posts.
Thank you! That means so much! 💕
As per the present-day situation of the pandemic, this sharing is great support. I would like to add that daily affirmation can feed our mind with positivity and transform our limiting beliefs.
Absolutely!! Affirmations are such powerful tool. I use them all the time.
You know what, this post is so relevant to me right now!! Baking is a limited belief of mine. I became aware of this limiting belief late last year! I always project that I suck at baking and I think that plays a factor whenever I attempt to make treats. I’m trying to change my mindset towards this (and also follow the instructions more haha) and I’ve made it a goal to be a better baker this year. I already know I’m going to be successful if I keep working at it! xx
http://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
Thanks for the comment Lynn!
What we put out there is what we get back. If you want to improve your baking, believe that you are already a great baker, and follow the instructions. 😂
Wow! What an AMAZING post! I’m really relating to the money doesn’t grow on trees part. My parents always used to say that so I want to make sure I don’t put those thoughts in my sons head cause you are so right! Could definitely limit beliefs. Thank you so much for sharing
Thanks you so much for your comment!
I catch myself saying that one and worrying I’m going to pass it on to my son too. Well meaning parents all over the world have been telling their children that “money doesn’t grow on trees” for decades. It’s so easy to get caught up in our limiting beliefs and pass them on to our children without even realizing we’re doing it. I think what’s important is that we do our best to overcome our own limiting beliefs. Then teach our children to do the same. To alway question what is possible and challenge their own beliefs.
It can be really challenging to work through limiting beliefs such as the ones you chatted about here. I know it’s something I struggle with on a daily basis – but I also know that they can fuel our betterment. I appreciate your insight so much!
Limiting beliefs can be challenging to work through, but the first and most important step is simply to recognize them. Good luck working through yours and thanks so much for the comment!
This is a great reminder! I am guilty of this, for sure. Awareness is the first step and it can be hard to get out of the trap of limiting beliefs and thoughts. Affirmations are something I am working on to help get out of this trap! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your comment Heidi! It’s true, we have all come up against limiting beliefs and awareness is not only the first step, but the most challenging. Once you recognize it’s a limiting belief, you are already starting to dispel it.
This was definitely interesting. I used to have lots of limiting beliefs which were holding me back in so many aspects of my life. I still have but now I know that I can challenge them and check their validity. Most of the times I find out that I can overcome them easily. Some others it is much harder but I am a work in progress. Thank you for this!
Limiting beliefs can be really challenging. Half the time we aren’t even aware we have them, which makes them difficult to challenge. Awareness is key!