If New Years Resolutions Don’t Work, What Does?
This time of year many of us start to look back on the past year and think about what we have accomplished and what was left undone. We start to think about New Years Resolutions.
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Every year at about this time, I sit down and start to make a list of my New Years Resolutions. I think about what I want my life to look like and what changes I want to make. I excitedly write down all the things I want to do to start my new year off right.
Unfortunately, by February I feel completely discouraged because I have given up on all of my resolutions. Some of them I didn’t even get started on.
So, if New Years Resolutions don’t work, what does?
Why New Years Resolutions Don’t Work
There are a few reasons that New Years resolutions don’t work. For starters, we make them in January. It is hard to motivate yourself when we don’t even want to get out of bed. For those of us who have cold winters, it is a time to turn inwards and assess our lives, not to go out and start new habits.
The other timing issue with New Years resolutions is that you are putting all your goals off until a later date. If you really want to make lasting changes in your life, if they are important enough, why wait until January 1st to start them? When something is important enough for us to stick to, we don’t want to wait until tomorrow. We want to start today!
Hurry and Pick Some New Years Resolutions! It’s Almost Midnight!
Speaking of important, most of us end up making a list of resolutions that we really didn’t put a whole lot of thought into. We choose our resolutions without taking the time to decide if they are really important to us, and align with our beliefs and values. Sometimes we make resolutions based on what other people think we should change. It’s pretty hard to make major life changes when we have no real stake in the outcome.
New Years resolutions are a big list of big goals. We can’t possibly make that many major changes in our lives in one day. Saying you’re going to get healthy, for example, is a big goal. There are so many different aspects to that one resolution. For example,
- Changing our eating habits
- Learning what is and isn’t healthy for us
- Eliminating unhealthy foods
- Learning new recipes
- Putting aside the time to make the new recipes we learned
- Learn what physical activity works best for us
- Get out and do the physical activity that works best for us
- Break all our other unhealthy habits
That is a lot of work for one New Years Resolution. Some people have anywhere between five to ten resolutions to tackle at the beginning of a new year. Of course we fall flat!
If Not New Years Resolution, Then What?
So if New Years resolutions don’t work, what can you do? How about trying themes? It sounds so much friendlier then dreaded resolutions or goals. A theme is when you choose a keyword or phrase to summarize what you want to accomplish for the upcoming year. It is your focus for the upcoming year. Doesn’t that sound nice? Some themes could be Health, Abundance, Love and Romance, Family, Career, Bliss or Spirituality. Now, it is important to point out that your theme should align with your core beliefs and current desires. If you spend most of your time daydreaming about having a family then choose Career as your theme, chances are you will not be able to accomplish much. There is a disconnect between your theme and current desires. I’m not saying you should give up your career, but choosing to make family your theme might serve you better.
Choosing a Theme
So how do you choose a theme? This is where you have to do some self reflection. Think about the big picture. Where do you want to see yourself in the future? What do you think about the most? Being healthy and strong? Being in a happy relationship? Spending more time having fun with friends? Having a successful career? Family? That is your starting point. A good idea to further narrow down your theme is to look back at the past year. What did you love? Hate? What do you want less of, more of?
Breaking it Down
Once you have chosen your theme, it’s time to break it down into manageable pieces. Using Family as an example, the first step is to examine where you currently are in your life in regards to family. Do you have a partner? Can you support a family? These may be your first steps to making your dream a reality. Using your theme as a guide, small manageable goals are created to move you towards your ultimate theme.
Remember when I told you that it would be difficult to accomplish your goals if you are working on your career when what you really want is a family? Well, if you are working on your career as a first step towards preparing to have a family, you are more likely to succeed. It is all about your why. Our minds will help us achieve our goals if they are in line with what we think about most. It’s the Law of Attraction at work.
You may choose to work just on one aspect of your theme at a time. For example, if you are looking to improve your health, you may choose January to focus on letting go of bad habits. February could be all spent working on better eating habits and in March you may decide to introduce physical activity.
You may break your theme up into smaller monthly themes or set monthly, weekly and daily goals for yourself. The choice is yours. However, the more you break down your theme and plan how you will achieve each small step, the more likely you are to succeed. Because you now have an easy to follow plan, with small steps that are much less intimidating than a big major life changing feat, you are more likely to stick to it.
Law of Attraction
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘you get what you think about most’? Well, if you spend enough time thinking about your theme, you are going to make it your reality. You will start to attract the things into your life that you need to make it your reality. By making your intentions clear, you are telling the Universe what you want and the steps you are going to take to get there. Be as specific as you can. The Universe loves clarity and will give you more of what you put out there. So make sure your thoughts and actions are aligned with your desires. You need to feel the way you believe achieving your goals will make feel, right now!
Learn more about the Law of Attraction and the 12 Universal Laws here: How to Make the Law of Attraction Work: The 12 Universal Laws
Write it Down
Writing things down takes them from the realm of your imagination into the physical world. It is much easier to work with something that is physical, than simply a dream. By writing it down you are creating the plan for taking action. The other bonus of writing things down, is every time we see it we are reminded of what we want to accomplish. Like I told you earlier, the Universe gives us what we think about most, so the more we are thinking about our theme and the steps we need to take, the more the Universe will help us along. Which leads us to the next exercise.
Check out the “Slay Your Goals Planner” here
Create a Vision Board
Another way to keep your objective in your thoughts is to make a vision board. Vision boards are a visual interpretation of our desires. A physical vision board consists of images you’ve cut out of magazines or printed, sprinkled with some keywords and motivational phrases, put together to form a collage of your objective. It is then recommended that you place your vision board where you can look at it often. It helps if you spend some time imagining yourself living the life your vision board depicts. By using visualization, you are creating the feelings associated with your desires. You can also create a digital vision board. For more information read my post How to Create a Vision Board on Pinterest.
Banish Negativity
Recognize Your Negative Thoughts
If you allow negative thoughts to take over, the Law of Attraction will start to provide more experiences that mirror those negative thoughts. So how do you banish negativity? Well it’s not an easy task. You first have to recognize when your thoughts turn negative. Which can be the most difficult part of this process. Most of us have become so used to the negative background banter our egos are spouting, that we don’t even notice it on a conscious level anymore. Our subconscious however, notices and shapes our lives according to that negative self talk. So really listen to what you say to yourself.
Pause and Reframe Your Thoughts
Once you recognize the negative thought, hit pause. Yes I literally mean stop what you’re doing and if you are alone say “pause” out loud. By saying it out loud you are effectively stopping the thought in its tracks. Thank it for showing you what you don’t want. Then replace the thought with something more positive.
When replacing the negative thought, don’t use something that you won’t believe. For example if your inner critic is telling you that you are too stupid to get that promotion at work. Replacing that thought with “Einstein’s got nothing on me!” And strutting across the room might be a little hard for you to believe. If not, you rock! Go with it! However, if you have a hard time accepting that, something that is more believable to you right now might be “I was intelligent enough to get this job, the people who hired me saw my potential and I choose to see it as well.” Reframe your thoughts to the most positive version that you can believe in that moment. The more you change your thoughts, the more you will believe in yourself. You will be able to see yourself as the wonderful person you are.
Gratitude
Practicing gratitude can help orient your feelings with your goals. Gratitude is a high vibration emotion and amazing for manifesting. It is hard to think negatively when you are being thankful. Writing out a list of the things you are grateful for, no matter how small, everyday is a great practice. Do this first thing in the morning while you are getting ready for your day, or while getting ready for bed. That way you can make it a part of your regular routine. Want to know more about Gratitude read my post What’s there to be Grateful for? https://metaphysicalmama.com/whats-there-to-be-grateful-about/
Trust the Universe
It is important that once you’ve taken all the above actions, trust that the Universe will provide what you need. It may not happen as quickly as we want it, but it’s vital that you not get discouraged. Otherwise you will only sabotage all of your hard work.
Continue to work through your action plan. Keep your vibrations up and trust that you are manifesting what you need when you need it. Once you are clear on what you want, practicing the feelings that go with what you want, Keeping those desires in your thoughts, keeping your vibrations high and taking inspired action towards those goals, the Universe will help you get there. Trust that the Universe has your back.
Wishing you a Happy New Year full of success, love and joy!
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I have never considered using a theme before, however, I do use many of the other tips you’ve included here. Every year at the end of Dec/start of Jan I create a virtual vision board that becomes my computer and phone backgrounds. That way, each time I log on, I’m reminded of what I’m working towards.
Thanks for reading!
Virtual vision boards are great! I love that you use them for your phone and computer background.
I love this post so much. So true that breaking down your resolutions or goals into manageable pieces helps you achieve your goals more! I am hoping to stick with eating healthier for 2021, but I need to realize that just because I have one cheat meal, doesn’t mean I need to give up entirely. That has been my mind set every single year when I have this goal for the new year. So hopefully using these tips you recommended, I will be able to stick with it more so this year!
I’m bad for that too. If I cheat once, I want to throw in the towel. It’s definitely a mindset shift I’ve been working on for myself. Breaking things down into smaller goals definitely makes it easier. I would also suggest remembering that we all slip up now and again. That’s just part of being human. One or two slips are no reason to give up on all the work you have already put in. Good luck with your goals and thanks for reading!
These are all great tips, Tiffany! I actually have never thought of a certain “theme” to my goals. I’m going to try that! Wishing you the best New Year’s mama! 🙂
Thanks Lynn! Let me know how it goes. All the best to you and you’re family for the New Year!! 💕
This is a really important post. Rather than just setting resolutions it’s important to set goals and I like the idea of having a theme and making a vision board. Really helpful post.
Thanks! I’m so glad you found it helpful!!
I really really enjoyed this blog post! Thank you so much for sharing this! I have been making New years resolutions for as long as I can remember but, just like most people, end up forgetting about them the second week of January haha. I loved the idea of choosing a theme! will definitely try it!
I’m right there with you. I would make so many of the same resolution year after year. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t stick with them. Creating a theme and breaking it down into smaller goals has been a game changer!
Thanks for reading!
These are some great tips. Rather than resolutions, I set goals that I want to achieve by the end of the year. This way, there is no pressure to suddenly make lots of changes.
Thanks!
You are absolutely right. It is too much pressure to suddenly make a lot of changes. Goals are a much better solution.
This is some really great advice that I will be using. I definitely need to work on my own negativity towards myself (stress this year has been so overwhelming — not covid related but that certainly didn’t help). Thanks for this!
You’re very welcome! I hope this helps. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or are looking for more resources.
I really like the idea of themes. I’ve already set my goals for 21. If I had to pick a theme, it would be “simplify”.
I hadn’t thought of creating a vision board on Pinterest but it’s a pretty cool idea.
Simplify! I love that!! What a great theme! For me it’s Balance.
This is a brilliant post. I’m really not a fan of resolutions. They seem almost doomed to disaster.
I have a lot i must achieve this year and I’m
Going to save this to help me x
Thank you! I’m so glad you found this post helpful! I always struggled with New Years resolutions too. I like the idea of themes so much better. Breaking down one big goal just makes more sense to me.
Totally agree about the negative self talk. I have been told to try this, even though it sounds silly. When you think a negative thought, literally say out loud to yourself something positive.
Thanks for your comment!
This is a great way to deal with negative self-talk. I do something very similar. When I catch myself thinking or saying something negative I actually say “Stop” then I replace it with something positive. It is very effective.
I loved this post for so many reasons! You’re so right in saying that you shouldn’t wait until a certain day nor to make goals up for the sake of it. It’s important to really think about what you want, lay it all out, and create an action plan xx
http://www.dellalovesnutella.co.uk/
Thank you! I’m so glad it resonated with you!
What an inciteful post! These are extremely good ideas. Resolutions are difficult to keep track of but I think the idea of a “theme” would be helpful. My theme for the year will be better health. So hopefully that leads me to fitness and better habits. Thanks for sharing this and giving me a great idea!
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Good luck with your theme!
This plan sounds doable! Happy New Year!!
Thank you! Happy New Year to you!
This is such a useful post. I never normally make resolutions but this year I set myself a few practical goals that I started doing just before the New Year so it didn’t feel as daunting. Definitely think breaking down goals is a lot easier – I tried to make mine as specific as possible to keep my on track as I find if they’re too vague I never stick to them. Thanks for sharing
Tash – A Girl with a View
Thank you so much!
Breaking down your goals and being as specific as possible definitely makes them more doable.
Good luck with all your goals!
I agree with you about choosing a theme. Kind of why I went to qualitative goals – if you want to make something happen, you will put yourself in a position to take the small steps to make it happen! I feel like we set goals and expect the universe to take care of it for us. It is not completely true – we need to take some actions.
Nancy ✨ mdrnminimalists.com
Absolutely!! The Universe will set forth opportunities for us, but it is up to us to act on them.
Thanks for your comment!
Happy new year! I too am not a huge fan of Resolutions. People try to change overnight just like the year on the calendar, but it doesn’t work like that. Your idea of themes sounds very much like Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness project where she works on one part of her life each month.
I agree, expecting change overnight is unrealistic and discouraging. Working on a different area each month is a great idea. I have to read more about the Happiness Project.
Thanks for your comment!
It’s a wonderful idea about working on theme rather than making resolutions. I was really facing the problem of my unfulfilled resolutions every so I stopped making the ones. But this time definitely I’ll work on themes. Thank for sharing novel idea.
Thanks! I was never able to stick to my New Years Resolutions either. Themes have worked so much better for me. I hope they work for you too!
I have been working on having a healthy mind since 2020 and I kind of wanted to continue doing it this year and focus on having a healthy body too, along with the healthy mind. I really wanna do it because I’m tired of feeling too insecured and unconfident with my body and I feel like it affects me mentally too. I want to use gratitude as a tool to achieve and I have also been breaking down my goals! So I totally agree with everything you’ve shared. 😊 I hope 2021 gives me a different perspective when it comes to pushing myself to be healthy in general. I love the idea of having a theme by the way, I see it more clearly now. Thank you this! 😊xx
Thanks for your comment! I am so glad this resonated with you! Gratitude is a great way to work on your mindset. I would suggest you work with affirmations as well. They are very effective in improving self-image. If you get a chance check out the challenge I’m setting for myself this year. New Year’s Self-Love Challenge 😊
Instead of writing down New Years resolutions, I like to write down goals, affirmations and what I want to focus on this year. I am planning to focus on my health and mental health and my goals are for my blog. Thank you for sharing this post.
You’re ahead of the game! Writing down your goals and working with affirmations is a great way to ensure success. Good luck with all your goals!
Thanks for your comment!
I don’t make resolutions or goals any more because it’s too depressing when I don’t keep them. But I like the idea of running with a theme, that’s definitely something to consider, thank you!
Thanks for your comment! I felt the same way about resolutions! Using themes has been a game changer.
OMG I sooo believe with the comment about ‘why hold off till Jan 1’! I make goals all the time! Then I feel like there’s less pressure on them!
Katie | katieemmabeauty.com
Exactly!! Trying to change everything in one day is way too overwhelming. It is much more effective to set goals throughout the year.
Thanks for your comment
We loved this post. We too don’t really believe in New Year Resolutions for all the things you listed. If we want something, we believe in the power of now and that we can change our thoughts and habits this day, to implement the change we wish to create. And we’ve been pretty good at it! We have been working on ourselves for a very long time and all of the above takes time to actually understand. We used to hear people talking about the Universe and Law of Attraction and in theory we understood it. But we didn’t let go and we didn’t trust fully until about 5 years ago. And that’s when the magic happened. It is important to listen to, to meditate and affirm to yourself what you want every day, to remain positive and to focus on only what you want. We have so much power – we just wish all of this was taught to us in school – can you image the sort of world we would have all created together??? Ahh, we love reading such posts – they elevate us. Thank You x
Thank you so much! I agree, we have so much power, unfortunately many of us do not know how to access it. It would be wonderful if this was taught in school, but I think that the lessons come to us when we are ready for them.
Thank you so much for sharing these great tips! I have a hard time to write my new year’s resolutions so this will help me a lot 😀
I’m so glad you found this post helpful. Happy New Years!
Great idea to create themes instead of separate resolutions! It’s much more easy to focus on an area than 10 specific smaller things. Thanks for sharing!
Exactly! I like having one or two things to focus on that I can then breakdown into smaller weekly or even daily goals.
This is a really interesting post, I love the idea of breaking up your goals into smaller manageable chunks! Thanks for sharing x
I love that part too! It is not so overwhelming that way. Thanks for your comment!!
I always like breaking down my thoughts and writing them as a bulleted list. This is super helpful! Vision boards are really inspiring too 🙂 I wish you lots of happiness this year!
I love lists! I am a chronic list maker. Breaking down my thought and goals really help me figure out the best way to manifest them. Thank you so much for your comment! All the best to you and yours for the New Year! 🤗
Great tips to set yourself up for having successful resolutions this year. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading!
LOVE this and such great tips. A really useful post. Thank you
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
It’s so funny you mentioned starting right away rather then January 1st. I actually did that this year. Set my goal for the new year and then just started. I think it set really helped the motivation
That’s great! I find when I’m really serious about something, I don’t wait to start. I jump right in!
This is such a great post! I don’t really make “resolutions” myself. But I do try to set goals I want to achieve in the new year.
Thanks so much! I prefer setting goals as well.
I’ve never thought about putting together a theme before, that is such a good idea. I’ve set myself some small goals this year that are very easily acheivable, if I set myself a huge target I will end up lacking motiviation and disappointing myself.
I agree, setting goals that are huge can definitely be discouraging. When setting goals it’s recommended that you set some small easily achievable goals as well as some that force you to stretch just outside your comfort zone. If all your goals are too easy, you have no opportunity to grow.
Thanks so much for your comment and I wish you all the success with your goals this year! 😊
I like the idea of the vision board. 🙂
♡ ☯ ☮ P&P style ☮ ☯ ♡
Vision boards are a great tool for achieving our goals. 😊
I love this post and couldn’t agree more with it. I truly believe that any day is a good day to be making resolutions. Waiting around for January also makes it easier to slack off during the year.
Thank you! I agree. If you are serious about accomplishing something you won’t want to wait.
Oh, a theme is a good idea. Also love how you recommend to break it up into manageable steps or parts. Things are just simpler to achieve this way. Thanks for the thoughtful post.
Thanks so much for your comment! Things really are simpler when you break them down.
I’m so with you! I think a lot of people think that they’re going to change their whole life in a couple of days into a new year and that’s just impossible. For me, it’s about choosing what you want to change and plan how you’re going to take baby steps every day to do that. Consistency is key.
All the best, Michelle (michellesclutterbox.com)
I agree with you. Taking baby steps and being consistent is the only way to accomplish those big goals. Unfortunately, very few of us were taught how to accomplish our goals, only that we should have some. I wish they would teach some of this stuff in schools. It would be invaluable.
Thanks so much for your comment!!
I haven’t thought about using a theme before but that’s a great idea. I don’t normally make resolutions but this year I decided to change that and I’ll definitely try a theme.
I’m so glad you liked it. Good luck with your theme!
A really interesting article. I like to set goals and focuses for the year instead of resolutions. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for the comment! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
I love how you addressed new year resolutions. I know I’m a bit late but I still have 10 good months. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thanks! 10 months is plenty of time! I re-evaluate my goals for the year every few months, so you are actually ahead of schedule. 😊
This is such a interesting post! I love how you’ve spoke about New Years resolutions, they can be really daunting at times. Thank you so much for this post Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
Thanks Elle! I’m so glad you like it!
Instead of New Years resolutions I make goals and would identify areas I want to focus on. I haven’t made a vision board about a new year but I would love to do that this month. Thank you for sharing this post. Happy New Year. I hope 2022 is a good year for you!
Lauren – http://www.bournemouthgirl.com
Thanks Lauren! Happy New Year to you as well!! 🎉
Goals are so important and unlike resolutions, we tend to put more thought into them. Creating a vision board is a great way to support your goals.
I’ve also resolved to banish negativity this year and to be intentional with my life. I really hope we always remember our intentions.
That’s awesome! Those are great intentions for the new year!