The Empath’s Holiday Survival Guide
The holidays can be demanding, especially for empaths. However, the past couple years have been even more difficult than usual. Dealing with the pandemic is causing many a great deal of despair. We are all trying to learn new ways of doing things, including celebrating the holidays.
As empaths, we want to please everyone, therefore we take on way more than we can handle. Our holidays can be extremely stressful, with very little time put aside to take care of ourselves. Add a pandemic and it’s a recipe for disaster.
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This has alway been a particularly challenging holiday for me. I have a habit of putting way too much on my plate. Trying to do everything myself and make everyone happy, burning myself out in the process. Because of this, I’ve decided to write The Empath’s Holiday Survival Guide as a reminder to myself and hopefully to help other empaths as well.
What is an Empath?
First off, let’s talk briefly about what an empath is. An empath is a person who is hyper-sensitive to their surroundings, taking in more sensory information than most people. In some cases they actually take on the emotions of those around them, feeling them as if they were their own. Empaths tend to put everyone else first. We love more deeply and experience everything so much more intensely. The part of the brain that is responsible for compassion, the mirror neuron, is hyper-active in empaths. (You can read more about that and other scientific findings to do with empaths here: www.psychologytoday.com) All these traits make life very difficult for an empath. Basically they want to help everyone, have a hard time saying no and become overstimulated and burn out because of it.
So what can empaths do to protect themselves and keep from burning out? We need to practice self-care. Self-Care is taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health, and is vitally important, especially around the holidays.
Empath’s Holiday Self-Care Check List
- Create strong boundaries
- Check in with yourself often
- Don’t over schedule yourself
- Delegate
- Schedule in time for yourself
- Visualize
- Use essential oils & crystals
- Meditate
- Breath
Empath’s Holiday Boundaries
The most important thing that empaths can do for themselves, especially around the holidays, is to maintain strong boundaries. Almost all the other tips I’m going to give you, tie in to having strong boundaries. What does this mean? It means defining where you begin and others end. The question now is how do we develop strong boundaries?
Get to Know Yourself
The first step in having strong boundaries is knowing ourselves. For an empath this means learning to differentiate our emotions from those of others. It means learning when we are becoming overwhelmed and need to take care of ourselves. To do this we need to check in with ourselves on a regular basis.
Checking in with ourselves can be as simple as asking yourself “how do I feel right now? Why do I feel that way?” By asking these questions you determine your emotions and can decipher whether they are yours or something you have picked up from someone else. If you find you have taken on someone else’s emotions, you need to let them go. Often just acknowledging that the emotion isn’t yours is enough for you to let it go. If not, you can take a moment to ground, then visualize the foreign emotions draining off of you into the earth. These questions also help establish whether you are getting overloaded and need a break.
Learn to Say No
Another part of developing strong boundaries is saying no. As people pleasers, empaths often have a difficult time saying no. They give until they burn out and can’t give anymore. We don’t have to say no all the time, but we have to learn when it’s time to look after ourselves. We cannot take care of others if we do not first take care of ourselves. If you have a hard time saying no, practice. Say no to a few small requests here and there until it feels more comfortable. Eventually, you will realize that the world doesn’t come to an end because you said no. It’s incredibly freeing.
Empaths have a habit of trying to save people whether they ask for help or not. We try to take their pain for them so that they don’t have to suffer. It is good to keep in mind, that we are all on our own personal learning journeys. If we are always trying to “fix” everyone and take their pain, they may never learn the lessons they are meant to learn. Painful experiences will continue to show up in their lives until the message is understood. Being supportive is one thing, but we have to let others work through their own issues. Allow them to learn their own lessons.
Empath’s Holiday Time Management
Time management is another important tool in an empaths tool belt. The more organized you are with your time, the less stressful your holidays will be. Empaths don’t do well with stress or feeling rushed. It often leads to a complete meltdown. This is not what you want when you are int he middle of preparing Christmas dinner. So manage your time wisely. Give yourself enough time to get things done, with a little bit of grace time. You do not want to feel rushed.
Don’t do everything yourself; delegate. There is no reason you have to do it all. By letting others help, you include them in the festivities. So give everyone their assignments and you can all enjoy the holiday.
Make sure you don’t overbook yourself. If you have more than a few things to do in one day, make sure you schedule a little quiet time in-between. You need some time to recharge or you may overload yourself.
Recharge
How you recharge will depend on how much time is available. Meditation is always a good way to recharge. Smudging is another great practice for empaths. When you have more time, take a shower and visualize the water washing all the negativity and foreign energy down the drain. This will leave you feeling refreshed a recharged.
Positive Self-Talk
A quick way to de-stress and recharge is taking a moment to engage in positive self-talk. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are doing okay. That you can easily let go of anything that isn’t yours. Tell yourself that you have strong boundaries in place. Remind yourself that you are loved and perfect exactly as you are. Add anything positive that feels right. Give yourself a big smile and get back out there.
Spend Time In Nature & With Animals
Spending time with animals is another way to recharge. Animals can be very healing. Sitting and petting an animal can help regenerate and heal you. They also help to relieve stress and can be very grounding. Just another reason to love our fur babies.
Snuggle your fur babies or some one else’s
Spending time in nature is very healing for empaths. Personally I love being in wooded areas. Others find they’re drawn to the ocean or other natural bodies of water. Here in Canada, it’s a bit cold for me this time of year, but if you are somewhere warmer or don’t mind the cold, spend some time in the great outdoors.
A dab of Lavender essential oil placed on your third eye is another trick that can help when you are feeling bogged down by others negative emotions. Lavender is a calming oil that helps to raise ones vibrations. By placing it on your third eye, you are essentially calming your thoughts. The stress should begin to melt away.
Another quick trick for letting go of other peoples energy is to sit quietly and breath. Breath in calming, healing energy and breath out the negative energy you have taken in. One visualization that works for me is breathing in pure light and breathing out smoke. You can use whatever visualization works for you.
Visualization to Pull Your Energy Back In
As empaths, many of us send our energy out to explore. Like energy tentacles reaching out to take in all of the sensory information around us. A lot of times we have no idea we are even doing it. This leaves us feeling drained and overloaded. Here is an exercise to try when this happens and if you have a little more time.
Pull your energy back in
Find a quiet spot where you won’t be interrupted. First, let go of anything you have picked up from others you’ve dealt with. Don’t worry if you don’t know what you’ve picked up. Just having the intention of letting go is usually enough. Once you feel that you have let go of everybody else’s stuff, place your hands on your heart. Imagine pulling your energy back into your heart centre. Feel it radiating out from your heart and surrounding you in a protective bubble. I usually imagine the bubble as being made of white light, but what ever works for you is fine. Once that feels complete, take some time to ground. Picture your roots reaching deep into the earth, creating a strong foundation.
You can purchase my guided version of this meditation here: https://metaphysicalmama.com/product/guided-meditation-to-call-back-your-energy/
After you’ve done this exercise you can do little top-ups throughout the day. Take a moment to consciously let go of other peoples emotions you have picked up. If you feel your energy is reaching out, pull it back in and strengthen your protective bubble. Take a moment to ground.
Protect Yourself From Other Peoples Energy
If you want to avoid overload then you need to shield yourself from other peoples energy right from the get go. There are many ways empaths can protect themselves from other peoples energy. Carrying Black Tourmaline or Obsidian help to keep you grounded. They are also thought to be stones that do not absorb energy, thus they help you to keep from absorbing the energy of others. Amethyst are healing stones. They protect one from negative energy and promote a sense of calm, and are great stones for empaths to have on hand.
Use crystals
Visualization is a powerful protection tool. You can visualize a protection bubble around you. Keeping all negativity out. Another visualization you can use is to imagine a shield. A golden shield in front of your Solar Plexus chakra, which is located two inches above your naval. The Solar Plexus Chakra is the centre of your personal power. It is the chakra of self-assurance, confidence and taking control. Making it the perfect location for a protection shield.
Visualize yourself in a protective bubble of light
End of Day Release
A helpful practice is to have a ritual at the end of the day to release all the energy you picked up and recharge. Find a place to be alone. A place that makes you feel happy and calm. Play calming, positive music and release the energy you’ve picked up. You can do this through meditation and visualization. You can use mantras and affirmations. Journalling or even drawing can help to release the built up energy you’ve collected. What’s important is that you set the intention of releasing the energy and you believe that your method works. The Universe will take care of the rest.
Have a wonderful Holiday season!
Love
Metaphysical Mama
XoX
P.S. Want to more about being empathic? Read my post How to Thrive as an Empath.
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These are some great ideas. I have been trying to make a point of doing the ‘downtime’ thing more often. I find that I tend to brush that aside, putting everyone else’s needs before my own and wind up EXHAUSTED at the end of the day. At that point, I’m really no use to anyone. Right? I’m going to try some of the suggestions that you’ve listed here.
Thanks! I’m glad you liked them.
I use to really struggle with scheduling in ‘downtime.’ I always felt like it was being lazy and selfish, until I realized how useless I was to everyone if I didn’t take some time for me. Now, I always try to find at least 20 minutes to just do what I want. It makes a world of difference.
You know I’ve never thought of myself as an empath until your post. I resonate with everything in here so much and I struggle with creating boundaries. This was really refreshing to read and your checklist is a perfect reminder for me!
There are so many people that don’t realize they are empaths. They feel like something is wrong with them and don’t know what to do to feel better. I’m so glad I was able to help you discover that you’re an empath. It is so much easier when you realize there is nothing wrong with you, that in fact you have a gift. Even if it is sometimes a difficult gift. Please let me know if you ever need any guidance in creating strong boundaries. 💕
These are some great tips. I hadn’t heard of an Empath before reading this post.
Thanks! I’m glad I was able to teach you something new. 💕
Wow, what an indepth and detailed post! I discovered I was an empath in my late teens after we had a college discussion where some outside councilors came in (I was studying child development and care), I’ve always tried to set my limits but it’s easy to take on everything to please everybody. This year has been especially hard, but I’ve kept my boundaries and I’ve learned to work with and for myself in the best way possible. This is an amazing guide!
Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk
Thanks!!
It’s great that you found out you were an empath early on. I was well into my 30’s before I found out and believed there was something very wrong with me. People pleasing is still a struggle for me too, but I try to remind myself that I am no good to anyone if I burn out. Sometimes that helps me to not take on too much.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a guide quite like this one and I’m SO grateful you shared it. As an empath, the holiday season can be both wonderful and really challenging. It was so helpful to read your “survival guide” as you call it, since I need all the help I can get! Thank you for sharing!
I’m so glad you found it helpful. I find this time of year I can get really overwhelmed and have an emotional overload. It helps for me to make sure to schedule in a bit of alone time. If you ever need any help, feel free to reach out.
I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be an empath. Feelings coming at you from all sides, it’s such a busy time of year. These are some great tips though, thank you for sharing.
Thanks! It can be tough being an empath, but there are rewards too. 😊
Great list. I’m sure lots of people will find this helpful! I don’t struggle with a lot of these things but I do try to people please too much and often struggle to say no. I’m actually quite happy covid has provided the perfect excuse to avoid a lot of those situations.
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!!
I read a quote the other day that everything we want is just outside of our comfort zone. As a people pleaser that hates saying no, I hear ya, but as someone with big dreams I find it’s important to allow ourselves to experience uncomfortable situations. Then reward ourselves for being awesome!
Learning to say no is so important. I usually always have such a hard time with that. This was such a great and informative post. Thanks so much for sharing this survival guide!
I have a hard time saying no too. I find it helps to practice saying no. Practice with someone you feel comfortable with and start by saying no to small unimportant things. Husband:”Tiffany, do you want to share that chocolate?” Me: “NO!” When you get comfortable with saying no to the small things, it will be a bit easier when the bigger things come up. Good luck with it!
I am just now registering the fact that I am an empath. I knew these things about myself and thought they were just little quirks (which is fine). My biggest problem is that I take on others’ anxieties, issues, or emotional states and it is EXHAUSTING omg! I learned something about myself today and thank you for the advice about what to do about it.
I am so glad that I was able to help! Knowing that you are an empath makes it a little easier to deal with it. As far as taking on other peoples anxiety and emotions, strengthen your boundaries. Imagine a shield around you, check in with yourself often and work at letting go of other peoples stuff. If you need any help with these things, let me know. I’m happy to help.
As an empath, the hardest thing for me is saying no to my family members. I’ve been trying to get better about it, but sometimes the guilt kicks in and I say yes because they are family. Meditating and working with my crystals helps me a lot! Love this post! 💜💜💜
I’m so happy to hear you love this post! Thank you so much! Saying no is a difficult one for me as well. I find practicing saying no to little things helps for when it’s time to say no to bigger things. Practice makes perfect! Good luck. 💕💕
These are some great ideas. This was a really interesting post and some great suggestions for people who are struggling with ideas. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much for reading!
Great post! I am most definitely an empath. I have always been very easily affected by the feelings of others around me. I can also get overwhelmed easily. And in fact, I don’t really like Christmas because I always found it very stressful as a kid going back and forth between my divorced parents and never being able to please any of them. It’s gotten a bit better now that I’m an adult. But to be fair, my work has kept me away from home for Christmas the last 4 years. These are awesome tips though, thank you. I’ll keep them in mind!
Thanks! I hope these tips will help. The holidays are difficult enough without having deal with the emotional issues around divorce. I imagine as an empathic child that would have been extremely difficult. Even as an adult I sometimes struggle with it. Wishing you a calm, stress free holiday this year.
This is such a great holiday survival guide. Thanks so much for sharing all these great ideas!
You’re very welcome and thank you for reading!
Great tips and advice that I could actually use in my everyday life not just at Christmas — thank you so much for sharing this, I really needed it.
Absolutely! Taking care of ourselves and having strong boundaries are important all the time.
Thanks for reading!
Great post! It can be a very demanding time of year and these are some great tips in dealing with it, thanks for sharing!
Thanks for taking the time to read it and leave a comment! It is so appreciated!
Wow, there is so much helpful information here thank you for sharing! I know this will help a lot of people.
Amber | The Unpredicted Page
Thank you so much!
Always positive self talk😊 great information..I used to be like that but learned about boundaries and putting myself first. Many people will use you and treat you not in the correct way. Have to learn how to love yourself!
Cata | http://beautyofcafe205.blog/
Absolutely! Boundaries are so important. You must take care of yourself or you will end up burning out.
Thanks for reading!
Such a great post and so informative, I love how easy this is to read. And great self-care checklist, there are some wonderful reminders there.
Anika | chaptersofmay.com
Thank you so much! I appreciate it.
Really helpful post. I think it’s really important to set strong boundaries and just schedule time for yourself more. Lovely tips you shared here.
Thanks for sharing.
I agree, boundaries and more time for yourself is so important.
Thanks for reading!!
This post really resonates with me, I often feel so burdened come time for the holidays as my job has high needs to my empath side to it. I love this post and really connected with boundaries and taking time with pets, my little fur babies really heal me during my alone recharge time!
Thank you! I’m so glad this post resonated with you.
My fur babies really help me to heal as well.
Protecting your energy is so important- especially at this time of the year.
You share some really great tips here!
Thanks Megan! I’m glad they were helpful for you.
A great exhaustive guide! Boundaries are so tricky for most of us, because many of us were never modeled boundaries as kids, and we are figuring it out as grown ups. So thank you for pointing out the importance of it!
Thanks for your comment! It’s true, most of us have had to learn how to create boundaries as adults. It can be challenging, but it’s definitely worth it.
As an empath myself it’s great to read this and remind myself what needs to be done. Think I’ve fallen off the wagon so to speak lately. Back on the self care road starting tonight . Practice what I preach. Thanks x
I’m right there with you. I fall back into old habits and need to be reminded to slow down and take care of myself as well. I’m glad I was able to do that for you! 💖
This post is so helpful. Yes, I’m an empathist, but that makes me good at my job. Anyway, this is so me. I need to not over-schedule. Meditation and slowing down would be great. My daughter just had her birthday, this is such a busy time of the year for me.
empathist
I hear you, it makes me good at my job as well. However, we always have to remember to take care of ourselves first, or we are no good to anyone else!
Love this! It’s so important. Back when my extended family used to gather at Christmas, I would find it a bit overwhelming. But my family now is very small, and all introverts, so we have very chill holidays, which is lovely. I think your post will help a lot of folks who find this time of year overwhelming!
Thanks for the comment Colleen! My family is a mix of introverts and extroverts, so it can be a little hectic. 😊
I agree, it helps a lot of Spending time in nature and I have tried as well. Thank you for sharing this guide!
You’re very welcome!!