How to Create Good Habits: Everything You Need to Know
If you want to make positive changes in your life, you need to start forming good habits! They are the building blocks to accomplishing your goals.
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You know that woman down the street? The one who’s up at 5am going for her morning run, before she gets the kids ready for school and heads out to work at her very successful job.
The one that everyone is jealous of and secretly thinks is a Kryptonian. Yes that one!!
Well, she’s not Superwoman. More likely, she has just learned the power of making things automatic by forming good habits.
Read my post on Living an Authentic Life
What Are Habits?
Habits are actions that become automatic through regular repetition. Once it is developed, we will repeat it with little to no thought.
A good example of this is the morning routine. You sleep-walk to the coffee maker, turn on the machine, pour it and add all your fixin’s, all with no real awareness until you’re sitting on the couch having your third sip of piping hot coffee.
What the heck happened? Well, making coffee in the morning has become automatic. You’ve done it at the same time, in the same place so often that you no longer have to think about it. It is a habit
This is great when it’s something you want to do, but can be difficult when it is a bad habit.
Smokers illustrate this point perfectly. A smoker will finish a meal and have a cigarette out and lit before they are even aware they are doing it. When smoking was banned from restaurants, many smokers had a difficult time. They would light up after a meal completely unconsciously then get yelled at for smoking in the restaurant. This automatic behaviour continued until they learned a new habit; going outside to have a cigarette.
How Habits Form
To form a habit, it needs to become an automatic response. By repeating an action you strengthen the connections between neurons in the brain. Basically, you are changing the structure of your brain. This is what helps the habit to become automatic, so that you won’t even have to think about it.
We don’t think about walking, we just do it. It is an automatic response. This is why we are able to talk on our phones while walking.
The Habit Loop
While forming a habit, we go through what is called a habit loop. A habit loop consists of four parts, the trigger (or cue), the craving, the response (or habit) and the reward.
Our brains are constantly following this formula to form habits, whether we are aware of it or not. We can also use this formula to consciously, however, and create the habits we want or illiminate the ones we don’t.
The Trigger
The trigger is the first step in habit forming. As an example, let’s look at our smoker. Their trigger is the completion of a meal. Once the meal is complete they automatically light up.
Now let’s look at how someone may use a trigger to form a good habit. Suppose you want to start a workout routine. You decide you will workout right after you wake up everyday in the spare room. If you repeat this behaviour enough times, eventually you will automatically head to the spare room right after you wake up. Waking up in the morning is your trigger.
To ensure you form a habit, you want to make the trigger as obvious as possible. It should be something that is hard to miss.
The Craving
After the brain has been triggered, the craving kicks in. Let’s look at our smoker again. They have finished their meal (trigger) and now they are craving a cigarette.
The trigger tells the brain that a reward is coming, which causes the craving. This is the part of the habit loop that motivates us. We want the reward.
Say you came home and smelled fresh baked cookies. You then proceeded to go into the kitchen and grab one off the plate and eat it. Now imagine you did that everyday, eventually you would walk in the door (trigger) and automatically head to the kitchen in search of the baked goods (craving) so that you could claim your reward.
The Action
Now, the response or action part of the habit loop is simply the habit you are trying to create. Using the workout example, the action is the workout and for the writer, the action is writing. Anything you want to turn into a habit is considered the action in the habit loop.
The action must be worth the reward. If you feel you are using up more energy than the reward is worth, you won’t do it and it won’t become a habit. It is important that the reward is worth the effort you put in.
The Reward
The reward in a habit loop is what the action does for you. This is not the long term effects of the action, but something that happens immediately after. For example, the reward for working out, wouldn’t be getting fit. It is the boost of energy you get right after exercising.
The reward for writing is a little trickier. It isn’t completing a book, that’s the long term reward. The immediate reward could be a sense of accomplishment.
Both of these rewards, however are not very strong rewards. If you truly want to turn either of these things into automatic habits, it would be a good idea to work a reward into the loop.
After working out you may give yourself an hour of pampering as a reward or maybe you go to your favourite juice bar and get your favourite smoothy.
For the writer you may build in a reward of walking around your favourite book store after your writing session, or perhaps you will take some time to enjoy a good book.
Whatever encourages you to fulfil the action will work as a reward. Just make sure it’s not something that is counter productive. You don’t want to reward yourself with donuts after working out. It may get you to the gym, but you will become discouraged when you don’t achieve the results you are looking for.
Building Good Habits
Although we develop many of our habits unconsciously, we can consciously build the habits we desire by following the steps of the habit loop.
Instead of waiting for a habit to form on it’s own, we can create a predictable cue to trigger the craving. We then perform the action, or habit and finally reward ourself.
If we continually repeat the loop, it will eventually become a habit and we won’t even have to think about it.
Ensure Your Good Habits Stick
So what can we do to give our actions the best chance of becoming a habit?
Clarity
One way to do this is through clarity. When trying to form a habit, you have a better chance of succeeding by being very specific about when and where you will perform your habit. For example, saying “I am going to workout every morning at 8am at the gym on the way to the office for one hour”, has a better chance of becoming a habit than “I will work out 4 times a week”.
By being specific, you don’t have to think about it. You know at 8am you are going to the gym for an hour. Your cue needs to be clear and obvious. The less you have to think about it, the better chance you have of turning it into a habit. When you start thinking about it, you can make excuses and talk yourself out of it or just forget altogether.
The more predictable your habit, the greater chance you have of success.
Create an Environment to Support Your Good Habits
Let’s say you are trying to create a writing habit. You have clarity, you will write every evening for an hour after dinner at your desk. Unfortunately, your desk is covered in books and papers and you have no idea where your laptop is hiding. In this case your environment is not supporting the habit you want to create. You will likely take one look at your desk and decide that Netflix is the better and easier option.
If you want to build a habit that sticks, it has to be easy. You have to know exactly what you are going to do, when you are going to do it and be able to do it with relative ease.
If you want writing after dinner to become a habit, clean off your desk, have your laptop ready to go and your writing playlist cued up and waiting. If all you have to do is sit down and start writing, you are going to have a better chance of sticking with it.
Habit Stacking
Another way to build habits that stick is through habit stacking. Instead of choosing a time and place to practice your habit, you build off another habit. For example if you want to develop an affirmation habit you may decide that you will say 5 affirmations in the morning while brushing your hair.
Your new habit is built upon one of your existing habits.
When stacking habits, it’s a good idea to start small. You have a better chance of success if you stack a small habit to the existing one, ie. 5 affirmations, not 3 pages.
Once you’ve successfully created the new habit, you can build upon it. You may want to add some more affirmations or you can add a couple minutes of yoga.
Let’s look at another example of habit stacking. For someone who is looking to get fit, bit may look like this. After brushing your teeth you go to the living room and do ten minutes of stretching. Once that habit is established, you may decide to add a short run after the ten minutes of stretching.
The trick with habit stacking is to pick a habit that is a well established and occurs regularly. Then build upon it in small steps.
If you like this post, you may like my post about having a Growth Mindset.
How Long Does it Take to Form a Habit?
The big question is, how long does it take to form a habit?
Some people say 21 days to a month, but time really has nothing to do with it.
Habits form through repetition. When you perform an action repeatedly, you activate the neural circuit that is associated with that habit. So it is repetition, not time that makes a habit.
The more you repeat an action, the quicker it will become a habit.
How to Break a Bad Habit
To break a bad habit you need to first do your best to avoid your trigger.
If you find you don’t get work done because you are scrolling through social media the whole day. You can remove those apps from your phone, thus removing your trigger.
What about the smoker? They’d have to stop eating to remove their trigger, which is not the best way to quit smoking. Instead they can make their craving less appealing. They can focus on all the reasons they don’t want to smoke. Making the craving unattractive.
Another option for the smoker is they can leave their cigarettes upstairs. That way if they want to have one, they have to climb a flight of stairs first. This makes it more work to act on their craving.
The final step in breaking a habit, is to reward yourself.
For the person trying not to waste their day on social media, the reward may be when they get all of their work done, they can spend some time catching up on social media.
Using Habits to Improve Your Life
The best way to use your habits to accomplish your goals is to start with small sustainable steps. You need to walk before you can run. If you try to do too much, too soon you won’t be able to maintain your habits and you won’t accomplish your end goal.
Another thing to keep in mind is if you skip a day of performing your new habit, don’t beat yourself up. Just get back on that horse or treadmill and keep going. Skipping a day isn’t the end of the world, but if you freak out and start screaming about how useless you are at riding horses, you will likely get discouraged and skip another day and another day, until you have to start all over again.
Remember, repetition is key. So if you miss a day, get over it, move on and try not to miss the next one.
- Start small
- Use the Habit Loop
- Stack Your Habits
- Repetition, repetition, repetition
- Carry on if you miss a day
- Celebrate your wins!
Hi, I’m Tiffany! I’m a Spiritual Counsellor and Self-Love Coach. I create space for people to fall in love with themselves. My mission is to help women learn to love, respect and trust themselves, so they can build the life of their dreams. You can get to know me better here: https://metaphysicalmama.com
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This is a wonderful post Tiffany. I honestly thought it took 21 days for a habit to form and didn’t know all the little parts that go into actually forming a good habit! This will definitely come in handy, and I appreciate your picture of the cycle to better understand. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thanks Alex! The 21 day thing has been a misconception for many years. Habits develop differently for everyone, but the most important thing is repetition. The more you repeat the action, the more likely it will become a habit.
A very well written post. Many things that I can follow and incorporate as habits. One thing that you mentioned about social media – deleting the apps – I have tried that and it works. So fantastic analysis. Thanks for sharing.
Rupali
https://momkidlife.com
Thanks so much for your comment!!
This was a really interesting post, thank you so much for sharing! Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
Thanks Elle! I appreciate it!
I always like reading your posts because they go so in-depth! I’ve never thought of habit stacking but it’s such a clever idea 🙂 x
Thank you so much Caroline! I really appreciate that.
Habit stacking really is an amazing way to build new habits!
Habits are so important to us! We wrote an article about it as well. I love the way you narrated this with all your examples and systematic format. Love the image of the habit loop and how you mentioned specificity when creating habits.
Thanks so much!
Habits really are important. They can make our lives so much easier if we learn how to work with them.
Great post as always, TIffany! I like your points about clarity. It really does make a difference to be more clear with building habits and this applies to goals as well. I, unfortunately, have to kick out coffee for health reasons and it’s been soooo hard. I’m on day 3 and when I wake up in the morning, I still crave that smell of a fresh cup of coffee! I’m trying to switch that out with lemon water or tea but I know it takes time to develop the habit. Bookmarking this one for later! Thanks for sharing! xx
Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
Thanks Lynn! Coffee would definitely be a tough habit for me to give up, but I think replacing it with tea or lemon water will help. Good luck!
I think we so easily dismiss good habits as something we just can’t do. Or assume that people enjoy their habits or it’s easy for them. But I agree that starting small is always the best way. And using that success to build on more habits. I like the idea of thinking about why you wanted it in the first place and putting it in perspective. I think being kind to yourself and knowing that you will slip up at times but that’s ok. It’s not a failure unless you stop completely
Thanks for the comment Emma! Starting small is definitely key to building new habits.
Hello! Thank you for explaining habits in depth. I know a lot about the 21 days and I appreciate your focus on repetition. I feel very proud of myself when my body starts automatically waking up early 😍 when hard tasks become routine and memory muscle makes it that much easier
I agree, there is nothing better than when you realize all your hard work has paid off and you have developed a new healthy habit. Thanks for the comment Fayne!! 😊
I have plenty of bad habits to break, and I never managed to do anything about it! I’m hoping your tips will help me. I also want to build a lot of more positive habits, so this was a great read for me! Jumping to make a list of all the bad & good I want to have x
Breaking bad habits can be tough, but making a list and bringing awareness to them is a great place to start. Good luck!!
Thank you for the really helpful post. I have plenty of bad habits but the good ones don’t always stick! 🙂
Thanks for your comment! Building new habits can take time. Start small and focus on repetition. 😊
This was an interesting read! I definitely am trying to build better habits and since working from home I get up at 7am everyday and I am working on building a better morning routine again! But I agree that it just becomes a natural part of your life once you do something over and over xx
Thanks for your comment Gemma!! Dealing with all the changes during the pandemic has disrupted a lot of our habits, especially our morning routines. This is why so many people recommended that you still get up and get dressed. It’s easier to build new habits on top of ones that are already established.
Great post, as always Tiffany! Goodness knows how many bad habits I’ve acquired during Covid LOL
Thanks Giulia!! I hear you! I’ve picked up a few habits I’m trying to let go of as well. 😀
This was a great read, and I totally agree that the whole 21 days to a month thing can be irrelevant. I feel like the mindset you go into it with is a much more important factor. It’s great when you realise something has become a habit though, like making time for workouts without thinking about it or drinking more water naturally x
Thank you so much! I agree going into a new habit with a positive mindset is so important.
I loved the way you explain this and the step-by-step format in which you teach us about creating habits. Keep the great work up!
Thanks so much!
Starting small and celebrating small wins is so important! Amazing post!
Absolutely!!
I’m trying to get rid of my bad habits so this post really come at the right time! I never knew about the 21 days for a habit to form – this is new for me. Thank you so much for sharing Tiffany 😀
Thanks Merry! 😊
This is such an interesting post! I have a really well-established weekday morning routine: tea, reading, workout, shower, smoothie. It’s definitely a habit. If things get missed or out of order, my whole day is off! Habits are powerful.
Thanks Michelle! It’s true, habits can be so powerful. It’s great when we can use them to our benefit.
This is such a good post! It is amazing what you can start achieving when you change your habits, isn’t it? I knew that repetition was a big factor, but I didn’t realise that it could take any amount of time rather than within a set amount of time.
Thanks for sharing! Time to start creating some good habits now!
Aimsy xoxo
Aimsy’s Antics
Thanks so much Aimsy!! You’re not alone. This belief comes from a study that was done many years ago. However, studies have been done since that show it is in fact repetition, not a set time period, that creates a habit. Unfortunately, the old data is still circulating.
Great post, I love the idea of creating good habits. A lot of the time I feel like we associate habits to negative things we do and not positive ones so it’s great to shift the focus.
I love how clear your post is and so well explained, makes it all seem easy, I look forward to forming many new good habits.
Thank you so much! I’m so glad it resonated with you.
Very detailed information regarding creating good habits. And the understanding of idea of habit, its development and effective application in daily life is most important. And particularly this is applicable to good healthy habits to change our life.
Habits chosen to be implemented can also be seen as sort of discipline. But even if we miss one or two steps, should not be viewed seriously. If we take such thing easily, we can enjoy the entire process of creating good habits.
Thanks again.
Thank you so much!
Habits are like fuel to success. I highly think that upgrading or improvung your life has all to do with having healthy habbits. I like what you say that habits are best created when you repeat the same thing over and over. Thanks for sharing. Definetly a great read!
Thanks so much for your lovely comment!
Great content! I appreciate the detail and practical steps!
Thanks so much!
I have been trying this year to create good habits such as working out. I hate never gone this long working out. Usually I would I start and the stop and then start again. I happy to finally have a good habit of working out.
That’s amazing! It’s a great feeling when we successfully create a good habit. Thanks for the comment!
I’ve just come across the idea of habit stacking, or habit bundling, and I’m fascinated by it. I’ve noticed the times I’m more likely to do something I don’t want to is because of stacked it! I think this will really work for me to help encourage some more good habits!
Thanks for the comment! I find it fascinating as well. Habit stacking is such a great way to learn a new habit. I wish I knew about it years ago.
Love this post. Have you read The Power of Habit? I love that book and reminds me a lot to this post.
Corinne x
Thanks Corinne! I haven’t read that one, but I have read Atomic Habits with is also really great.
Great advice! I’m always surprised by the number of people who overlook the impact your environment can have on your success when it comes to goal setting or working towards changing habits. We need to do anything that we can to increase our odds, right? I have been working to be more aware of my environment and what I can do to make it a more positive influence on my life.
Thanks Britt!! It’s true! Our environment can have such a huge impact on whether or not we stick to a habit.
Great post! I liked you included how to break bad habits too.
Thank you so much!!
This is such a great thing and very detailed article on how to build Healthy Habits. I like when you mentioned that habits are built when you repeat them over and over because it’s true. This is such a great week and I’m pinning this for the future.
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoy it.
Developing a new habit is a challenge, but indeed, with the right strategy and mindset you can get there and make a lasting change. I never thought about rewarding myself before and I really like the idea. I’ve always been content with the immediate satisfaction of doing what I set out to do and the excitement of putting a check mark on it. Thank you for this step-by-step to create good habits. It is very helpful. We really need it!
Thanks Corinne! Putting a check mark on it is great, but every now and again I need a little extra incentive. 😊
This is such a helpful post. I’m trying to create some more positive habits and get rid of the bad ones I’ve picked up.
That’s great Kelly! Hopefully you found some tips in this post to help you out.
This is a amazing post, filled with great information. I learnt a lot about starting a healthy habit. Thank you for sharing this post.
Thanks so much Charlotte! I appreciate it.
This is a really detailed blog post how you can create really good habits. I use my habit tracker to help keep me accountable.
Thank you for sharing.
Lauren -bournemouthgirl.com
Habit trackers are a great! Thanks for the comment Lauren!
Such an indepth post! Creating good habits is so important, I’m focusing on getting healthier at the moment and the reputation I so important to keeping it up.
I agree repetition is so important when trying to develop a new habit. Thanks for the comment!
This was so informative and helpful as I really need to focus on some positive habit forming. Thanks for the reminder!
Thank! I’m so glad you found it helpful!
I love how detailed this post is! I believe that having a good morning routine can change your days. This was super helpful, thank you for sharing!
Thank you! I’m so glad it resonated with you!
This was a really interesting read – I’d not heard of habit loops or habit stacking before but it all makes complete sense. Very informative, Tiffany, thank you very much for sharing this!
Thank you for taking the time to comment Lisa! I’m glad I was able to introduce you to some new ideas for creating habits.
It can be somewhat frustrating when you think about how hard it is to form good habits and how easy it is to break them haha. But you’ve got some excellent information here. I’ve been working on creating good habits for myself in my life and this was really helpful to read. Super encouraging too!
Thank you! I’m so glad you found it helpful! I agree, it is a lot easier to break good habits than create them, which is why we need all the help we can get lol. For me, habit stacking has been a real game changer. Hopefully some of these ideas will help you as well.
Creating good habits are so important and you outlined so many great ways to do so. Very informative! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for your comment Charity!
Another great post! It’s funny you say the woman we are jealous of because that’s so true. We sometimes talk down about those women when in reality we are jealous that they are making it work…they are making the sacrifice to put themselves first.
Great tips ❤️
Awwww thanks so much Caitlin!! It’s true, instead off being jealous we need to learn how to make them our mentors and allow them to be our inspiration. We need to celebrate each other and help propel each other into greatness. ❤️
Great post! I love this because I’ve been trying really hard to build good habits since moving out and setting out on my own x
Thanks so much! I hope some of my suggestions help you with your own habit building.
For a successful future, it is necessary to acquire the right habits. Wrong habits are enemies that destroy our lives. So, by reading, learning, and acquiring the right habits, we can give ourselves a valuable gift.
Thank you very much for this long and valuable blogpost.
https://timeofarticle.blogspot.com/
You’re very welcome! Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Such an amazing and in-depth post! It is so important to have good habits in life. loved your habit stacking suggestion because I am trying to create new good habits in my life and it’s difficult in beginning but now I am gonna give try to your suggestions. Thank you for sharing such an informative post 🙂
Harsha | https://dreamwithharsha.com/
Habit stacking is a great trick. It makes it so much easier to form a new habit.
Thanks for your comment!
I have been trying get out of some bad habits but hve been failing miserably. Your note on triggers are really informative. I am going to see if I can break some of my bad habits and form some good ones. Thank you 😊
Good luck Anjali! It can be difficult to break old habits and create new ones, but just keep at it. Repetition is key!
Thanks for the comment!
I so agree with you habits are formed with consistency. Our inconsistency is what makes it more difficult. I believe when you have a mind set to do something you will whether that is forming good habits or breaking bad ones. Also, being accountability helps. Great perspective habit stacking. Thank you for this post.
Pastor Natalie
Letstakeamoment.com
Thank you for taking the time to comment! I agree, accountability and determination play a huge part in creating habits.
One good habit I’m trying to create is eating healthier. To start off, I have to first cut out eating junk food all the time. I try not to keep snacks around the house to tempt myself. I don’t want to cut out all junk food because that’s not realistic but try to eat them as little as possible.
I think you are on the right track. Controlling your environment and taking smaller, realistic steps are a great way to ensure success.
Thanks for your comment and good luck with your new habit!
Such an in depth post – I’d never actually thought that deeply about habits. I agree with the automatic coffee making in the morning! I like the cycle diagram of forming habits and I think it’ll really help me to make some positive changes, especially with breaking bad habits 🙂
Thanks! I’m so glad you like it! 😊
I loved this post Tiffany. It can be so hard to create good habits. It is way easier to create bad habits than good ones but this has reminded me of the fact that we can achieve anything we put our hearts to no matter how difficult it seems and we just need to be disciplined and resilient. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much Ruth! I’m so glad you liked it!
Love love love this. It’s building on the good feedback loops and skipping out of the negative ones that’s the hard thing. I just keep running.
Awww thanks! I’m so happy you liked it!
Just keep running. 🏃♀️
This is a very informative and well-written post! Building good habits definitely takes some time and I also agree about taking smaller steps cause eventually you’ll get there. If there’s one bad habit I’m trying to break, it’s to use my phone less before going to bed. Great tips! Thanks for sharing x
Thank you so much! I appreciate your comment!
Amazing post! Truly needed it right now! I have certain habits that I struggle to build others that come easier, so I guess it will mean to work with a different approach! STacking them actually helps me a lot x
Thanks! Stacking habits really helps me as well.
I didn’t know about that habit stacking one. Hearing that for the time time. Well that increased my knowledge. Building a habit is one heck of an effort and that requires will. That smoker effect was spot on. Thanks for sharing that all xx
Isa A. Blogger
https://bit.ly/39f9FN0
Building habits can be difficult. I find habit stacking does make them a little easier. Thanks for your comment!
This is a great post! Habits are a big thing. We seem to always want to break bad habits and build new ones. I agree that habits take action and patience. It might not be formed right away but something like habit stacking is a great tip! Thank you 🙂
Thanks for the comment! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. 😊