8 Ways to Live An Authentic Life Even When Your True Self Has Been Lost
Do you ever feel like somewhere along the line you lost yourself? No matter what you do, you just don’t feel satisfied? Everyday feels like you’re just going through the motions? If so, then you are not living your authentic self. So how do you live authentically when you have lost your true self?
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We live in a world that places a lot of expectations on us. Our parents, partners, friends, children and employers all have their own ideas of who we should be and how we should go about it. Unfortunately, with all those expectations weighing on us, its is easy for us to lose ourselves.
Who Is Your True Self?
When you strip away the masks and stop being what others expect of you, what’s left is your true self. It is the most authentic you. The part that acts not to please others, but simply for yourself. It is the part of you that does things because they make you feel good. Your authentic self is lead by your intuition and inner knowing. When you are most at ease, your true self shines through.
Read more about Tapping into Your Intuition Here.
Sadly, most of us spend a great deal of time trying to fit in and please others. We make every effort to do what society and our family expect of us and slowly we forget who we are and what we want for ourselves. We become too caught up in the expectations of others and lose ourselves in the noise.
How Will You Know If It Is Your Authentic Self?
Once you realize you have been living inauthentically, the question becomes how do I know what is really me? How will I recognize my true self?
Our true selves do not try to fit in or impress anyone. Instead, they do the things that are good for us and bring us joy. They lead us to where and who we are meant to be. We know it is our true self because it comes naturally. We don’t have to think about it.
Being authentic means we don’t try to hide the parts we think others won’t like. It is playing to our strengths, but accepting our weaknesses. It is embracing all that we are.
If you want to know more about Self Love you can read about it here
How To Rediscover Your True Self
To live as your true self, you only have to pay attention to your inner voice. You don’t have to become someone new, your true self is who you already are. It has just been forgotten and buried under the many masks you have donned.
Here are some tips to help you rediscover your self:
1. Practice meditation.
When you are quiet you are able to here your inner self speak. It is amazing what you can hear when you just take the time to be quiet.
2. Stop pretending you are someone you aren’t.
If you want to discover your true self, you have to stop pretending to be something you’re not. If people can’t accept you the way you are, they are not your people. That is not to say that you shouldn’t strive to be more, just make sure it is inline with who you really are.
3. Pay attention to what you like.
Notice the things you honestly enjoy. What do you have fun doing? Who do you like being around? These things will show you who you really are.
4. Start loving yourself.
Don’t depend on others to make you feel valued. That’s your job. Once you love yourself, being fake is so much harder to do.
5. Accept your shadow.
To embrace you true self, you have to learn to not only accept the stuff you like, but also the stuff you don’t. The good, bad and ugly all make you who you are and that combination is what makes you perfect.
6. Keep a journal.
Journalling is a wonderful way to get in touch with yourself. Writing down your feelings and observations help give you clarity. It also is great to look back at what you have written as a reminder.
7. Use your intuition.
Your intuition is the voice of your inner self. It tells you everything you need to know you need only listen. It can also be useful to ask your intuition questions and listen for the answer to come to you.
8. Allow yourself to experience your feelings; even the uncomfortable ones.
It is important that we feel all of our emotions. Although it is unhealthy to dwell in some of the lower vibrational emotions such as depression, anger and sadness, it is still important to acknowledge them and then work through them to a better feeling place.
Living Life Authentically
Living in polite society, however, means that every now and again we put on an act. When a stranger on transit asks us how we are, most of us won’t start sobbing and telling them our life stories. Instead, we choose to tell them we’re fine. When our mother in-law asks us if we enjoyed her casserole, we don’t tell her that it tasted like crap and we were throwing up for an hour. We tell her it was lovely. Thank you!
Is that our true self? No, but let’s be honest. Do you want some guy on the bus crying on your shoulder, telling you about his cheating wife that took all his money and his chihuahua? All because you smiled and asked “how are you today?” Probably not.
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These small polite interactions are not enough to lose ourselves. It’s okay to tell someone we’re fine when we aren’t. What you don’t want to do is deny those feeling to yourself. It is all about balance. Balancing what we need to live authentically with what we all need to function in society and keep the peace.
The trick is to always know our true self. To know who we are and how we feel. If we know ourselves and are in touch with our feelings, then small polite interactions will not lead to a loss of self.
The Benefits of Living as Your True Self
When you live as your true self, you make choices that benefit that self. You look for work that is satisfying. You find friends and partners that embrace who you really are. Everything you do serves your true self.
Journal Prompts to Discover Your True Self
- Who do you feel you can most be yourself with?
- What is the most important thing in your life?
- How do you feel right now?
- What is your favourite thing about yourself?
- Who do you feel you can least be yourself with?
- What do you avoid the most?
- Who are you closest to?
- What’s your biggest fear? Why?
- Describe your perfect day.
- What does happiness mean to you?
Read more about the your authentic self here
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Some really helpful tips here, love the journal prompts too
Thank you! I’m so glad you like the prompts.
I love this post, living authentically is so important for happiness and taking the time to get to know yourself is key alongside accepting who that person is. This is such wholesome content – thank you for sharing.
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed my post!
Thanks for this post Tiffany – I relate so much with the putting on a mask, I feel like more often than not this is something that happens and over the past year I’ve tried to take this time (while at home) to really tune into who I am outside of the mask. I really appreciate the journal prompt you’ve provided as those will be helpful. Thanks for sharing!
We all wear masks now and then. Unfortunately we get so use to wearing them, that we forget who we are without them. I’m glad to hear that you are working towards getting to know yourself again. Something that may help you is to make a list of everything that makes you happy. Knowing what you love without the influence of anyone else is a good step towards knowing true self.
Thanks for your comment!
I loved this so much!! Beautifully written as always. The mother-in law food bit made me cackle! I just experienced this the other day and thought to myself if I should buck up and tell her or keep it to myself. I find myself lost every few months and needing a good cry. I love the journal prompts and feel like this will help me the next time I have this feeling! Thank you for sharing, Tiffany x
Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
Awww thanks so much Lynn! I’m so glad it resonated with you and gave you a laugh. Next time you feel like you need a good cry, take some time to journal about the experience. Ask yourself why are you feeling this way? What were you doing right before you felt it? What thoughts keep coming up? If you find you don’t have answers for those questions try asking where in your body are you experiencing these feelings? If they had a colour, what would it be? Would the feelings be soft, sharp or jagged? By answering these questions, you can start to remove the layers and discover where the feelings are coming from. It may take a few times before you are able to get any concrete information, but keep at it. If you need any guidance with this, just let me know. 💖
I love this. Authenticity is so important to me. In a world where so many things and people seem fake, it’s refreshing to meet someone who is genuine and authentic.
Love the journal prompts. I’ll use them for sure.
I’m so happy you like the journal prompts.
I agree with you, it is so refreshing to be around people who are authentic. I also find being around them, gives us permission to be authentic as well.
Thanks so much for your comment Michelle!
These were all very helpful tips and a truly needed read! I will write down the prompts you left at the end as I think they would be a great starting point, thank you for sharing x
Thank you! I’m so glad you are going to put the prompts to use.
These are great questions to answer. I love how these questions make you question negative thoughts and help with writing down how you feel.
Thanks so much! I’m glad they’re making you question your negative thoughts.
This is such an interesting post!
I felt like I lost myself after I became a mum but this year I’ve really started to find myself again!
Love Lozza x
Motherhood can be such a challenging time for women. Not only do we have a tiny human that we are responsible for, but we have also stepped into a completely new identity. We are no longer the same person. Unfortunately, we are not given any time to grieve the loss of the woman we were or time to get use to the person we have become. It’s all just kind of thrown at us. I think as our children start becoming a little more independent and we are able to find a little time for ourselves here and there, we begin to rediscover who we are. I’m glad you are starting to find yourself again. My best advice for you, is to try and find a little time for yourself to do the things you love. Thanks for your comment Lozza!
Loving the positivity that’s radiating through this post & definitely appreciate the journal prompts! This is a great read(:
xo Bri Cruz
Thank you so much! I’m so happy you enjoyed it.
This was a really interesting post. I haven’t really thought much about this topic. I like to think I am authentic but sometimes I do worry what others think of me. But that is more of a self confidence issue.
The prompts you have shared are really helpful to start exploring. Thank you for sharing this post.
Lauren bournemouthgirl.com
We all worry what others think about us now and then. As long as we aren’t trying to change who we are to be accepted by others, we’re good. Although it is important to examine ourselves and our feeling, we must also be careful not to look for a problem where there is none. If you feel like you are living authentically, trust that you are. You know what they say…don’t fix it if it ain’t broke. 😊
Thanks so much for your comment Lauren!
Number 8 is my favorite, ” Allow yourself to experience feelings”
We are often programmed in our development in small or big ways to react and feel a certain way to emotions and situations. I think it’s also vital, within reason of course!, to allow emotions to flow freely and raw as I believe our authentic self can’t truly fit in a box. It’s always ebbing and flowing like the universe, and it deserves room to be messy and metamorphize over time!!
-Gigi Lee| https://www.guidancebygigi.com
Absolutely! Life is a beautiful, messy thing that is constantly changing. Unfortunately, so many of us have a hard time with our emotions. We either try to avoid them or we cling to them, instead of just allowing them to be. Life is so much easier when we just let it flow.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment Gigi!!
This was such an amazing read! I needed to read this 😁 thank you for helping me get a more clearer understanding of my authentic self and how to get there!
You’re very welcome!
This is something I have always struggled with, but there are definitely people that I am more authentic with than others. My closest friends know the real me. It is very hard for me to show that to others outside my circle. Thank you for the journal prompts. Those will help. 🙂
Thanks for your comment Heidi!
For most of us, it is difficult to be ourselves around people we aren’t close with. We all wear masks now and then. Sometimes the masks we wear serve a purpose like protecting us. Personally, I think as long as you are aware of it and YOU know yourself it’s not too damaging. The most important thing is that you don’t lose yourself, that you know your true self.
This is such an interesting topic. You’ve included some great tips. I think its important to really find yourself, your likes and dislikes and do what really makes you happy. I always try to live by the quote, be yourself, because everyone else is already taken.
Great quote Kelly! I love it!
The pressure of fitting in is very stressful. We need to be ourselves and be around people who accept and support that.
I agree! Finding people that we can be ourselves with can be the greatest form of self-care.
Thanks for the comment!
Wonderful post – lots of great ideas to help live an authentic life. What stuck out to me is “Allow yourself to experience your feelings; even the uncomfortable ones” this is so powerful as it’s important but I think the uncomfortable feelings are often what stop me but those aren’t bad things to feel – most of the time that means you’re growing. Thanks for sharing this – super informative!
Thanks for your comment!
Uncomfortable feelings provide information. They help guide us to what we want, kind of like our own personal GPS. When we feel good, we are on the right path. When we feel stressed and unhappy, we need to readjust our direction. It’s all information to help guide us along our path, we just have allow it to guide us.
I loved this post thank you for the list of journal ideas! Saving for later!
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!!
This post reminds me so much of a confidence coach I used to work for, she was ALL about authenticity as the beginning of true confidence. Some lovely prompts here, Tiffany, thank you!
Thanks Lisa! I think I would like this confidence coach. She sounds like my kind of person. 😊
So much love for this post. I think as I’ve got older it’s been easier in some ways to find my true self. As a teen there is so many reasons to pretend in order to fit in. As I’ve matured I’ve cared less about fitting in and realised that I can find where I do naturally. When I’m truly myself it feels so much more authentic and I can really relax and enjoy myself in those situations
Thanks so much!
I agree with you. When I was young, I was more concerned with fitting in as well. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more comfortable just being myself. It is very freeing!
Thank you so much for sharing! I think a lot about being authentic, and this has confirmed some of my own thinking. I especially love the journal prompts you gave 🙂
Giulia, tidbitsofcare.com
Thank Giulia! I’m glad it helped you find some clarity.
I know many people struggled more than ever over the past year during the pandemic, but I am grateful for it because it helped me finally find my authentic self. I’ve never had confidence in myself, but now I fully appreciate who I am and I’m unashamed of what I love. It has been quite the journey, but it really is freeing! I’m glad you shared this encouraging article for others looking to do the same!
You are not alone in that sentiment. For all that has gone wrong this past year, the one thing that has been a blessing is that we have all been giving a rare opportunity for self-reflection. Even more of a blessing is how many people have actually used that opportunity for self-betterment.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
This is a great post. In the last year, I have started to live my true self and I love it. After reading this post, I am going to work harder to live my true self. Thank you for sharing.
That’s wonderful to hear!
Thanks so much for your comment!
This is a great post. In the last year, I have started to live my true self and I love it. After reading this post, I am going to work harder to live my true self. I have recently started doing guided meditations and I have journal. These are becoming my favourite things to do. Thank you for sharing some other tips.
That is wonderful! Thank you so much for your comment!
I really enjoyed reading this post. I’ve never really thought about being authentic, and appreciate your tips. Thanks for sharing.
You’re very welcome!
Great post! I believe it’s important to know your true self. Whether or not you express it all of the time is your choice. But getting to know yourself apart from societal expectations is a great challenge. I agree that spending time with yourself is the best to way to start to get to know yourself.
Exactly! The most important thing is for YOU to know your true self.
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Loveee the journal prompts! I will have to use these, thank you so much for sharing
Awwww thanks! I’m so glad you like the prompts!
Really helpful tips here, living authentically is essential for happiness 🙂
Thanks for sharing
https://uncuaderno4cero.wordpress.com/
Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
This is such a great topic. Our intuition can help us so much.
It really can. We just have to remember to listen. 😊
These are really great tips! Thank you so much for sharing! I especially find it difficult to allow myself to experience negative emotions but have been learning lately that it’s so important.
Thank you!
It can be very difficult to allow ourselves to experience negative feelings. However, suppressing emotions does not get rid of them. They stay in your body and begin to manifest physically, making us sick, in an attempt to get our attention. It is much healthier to feel and move through those emotions.
I love this post. So many great tips and ideas here. Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you so much!
Some really helpful and lovely tips here, thank you for sharing! Sometimes it’s so easy to loose yourself, especially when a bad situation is thrown at you but reading this really opened my eyes to finding myself again when this happens. Xo
I’m so glad to hear that! Thank you so much for your comment!
Meditation really is a great way to figure out who you are and what you want! It’s a way to really slow the world down and take a breather! It can be so overwhelming and often we do lose sight of who we are! Brilliant post!
Absolutely! Meditation is a wonderful way to come back to yourself.
Thanks so much for your comment!
Superb post. Whenever I read your blog I remember the importance of self love. Thanks for the post.
Thank you! That is so wonderful to hear!
this is such a great post! It is so easy to create a facade to the point that we are no longer being true to ourselves. It always starts with embracing what we are really like, and being proud of it! Thank you for creating such a motivational post!
Thank you! I’m so happy you enjoyed this post!
These are great things to be aware of, I think we sometimes forget to pay attention to what we’re actually doing and stay in tune with what we like. It’s really easy to say I’m x and y, that was true once upon a time but forget to check in and see if that’s still true. It’s good to remain self aware about these things! x
Sophie
Thanks for your comment! I agree, checking in with yourself on a regular basis is a great way to maintain self awareness.
Great post, I love the idea of living in a way that lets your true self shine, what a positive outlook! This is a really motivational read, and definitely something to come back to, so thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! 😊
This is another great post! I love how you have added different ways to find your true self. Meditation is just a game-changer, isn’t it? Add that to positive affirmations and you are onto a winner. Its always good to reflect on yourself and to remind yourself too!
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Aimsy xoxo
Aimsy’s Antics
Thanks too much for your comment Aimsy! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
Meditation and affirmations are the two things I do everyday, no matter what. They are both absolutely game changers! 😊
This is a really wonderful post. We all wear masks every now and then. This quarantine and lockdowns made me reflect who I am beyond the mask. Also love the journal prompts. Thank you!
Thanks for your comment! I’m so glad you liked the prompts!
I think the lockdowns helped many of us get a clearer look at ourselves beyond our masks. It has definitely been a time of self reflection.
This is such a interesting post. The ways you’ve mentioned are amazing and on point. I truly feel that journaling and meditation helps me alot. I am gonna add the journal prompts in my list too. Thanks for sharing such an insightful post!
Thanks so much! I’m glad you like the prompts.
Very well written and put together post. It makes me think, am I really living as my true self? I can honestly say that now I am, but for many years I was ruled by the opinions of others and what I was ‘meant’ to do.
Thank you! I’m so glad you liked it. I was the same, I didn’t trust myself enough to live the life I wanted. I allowed others opinions to determine what I should and shouldn’t do. Thankfully I no longer live like that and I am so happier. 😊