woman standing with arms outstretched looking out at the mountains fail forward

How to Fail Forward and Create a Successful Life

ByMetaphysical Mama
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Have you ever heard of the phrase “fail forward?” Do you want to throttle everyone who says it?

I know, I hated it at first too. When I really thought about it, however, I realized that maybe there was something to the whole idea of failing forward. Maybe it’s not just a catch phrase.

This post may contain affiliate links. That means I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you purchase through my link.

So what exactly is failing forward? Basically, it’s just a different way of looking at failure. It’s a simple mindset shift that can have a massive impact on how we approach failure and success.

If you would like to learn more about mindset and the difference between a growth and fixed mindset, read my post How to Cultivate a Growth Mindset & Improve Your Life

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What is Fear of Failure?



Fear of failure is a debilitating emotion that keeps us from moving forward. It keeps us safely tucked into our comfort zones, making excuses whenever we try to take a step out of the safe zone.

More often than not, we don’t even realize that our excuses are coming from our fear of failure. We buy into our stories completely. “I can’t take that new job. I need to stay in this safe and reliable job because I have a family to think about.” Although those things may be true, it is our fear of failure talking, and that fear is really good at making excuses for us.

One of the most interesting things about this subject, is that it is not long term failure that we fear. We are not afraid of spending years trying to perfect something and failing. We are afraid of trying something once and failing. 

woman covering her face in her hands fail forward

Why Do We Fear Failure?

Most of us learn to fear failure from a very young age. In school we were rewarded for getting the right answers the first time. There was no reward for wrong answers. In fact, most of the time we felt humiliated if we answered wrong. 

Our parents also, unknowingly fuelled this fear. If we failed in school we were often punished. At the very least, we were told how disappointed they were with us.

As we got older, failure continued to be looked down on. For many of us, our experiences with failure have not been positive. We have never been encouraged to fail or taught that failing has value. 

These negative experiences with failure fuel our belief that failure is bad, something to be feared and avoided at all cost. Even if that means giving up on the things we want.

We learn that failing is proof that we are not good enough. So when we fail, we feel ashamed. We feel like we are somehow unworthy.

Those are all pretty good reasons to not wanting to fail.

You may also enjoy my post on Perfectionism, How to Know if You’re a Perfectionist and Why It’s Not A Good Thing

Why Failing is Good

We are so busy fearing failure that we never look at the benefits. Yes, there are benefits to failing! 

Failure is a necessary component of success. We need to fail in order to course correct. When we fail, we are given valuable information that we can learn from and use to move closer to success. 

When we learn from failure, we are able to figure out what works and what doesn’t. It becomes a fantastic tool for improving our performance. 

Unfortunately, we are often too busy beating ourselves up for failing, that we don’t learn from the experience. We become so pre-occupied with these negative thoughts that we end up repeating the failure instead of using it to create success. 

chalk board with "don't give up!" written on it fail forward

Normalizing Failure

Have you ever noticed that the things we can’t see are the scariest? We are more afraid of the unknown than anything else. 

Do you remember the movie Jaws? When Steven Spielberg was making the movie, they had a lot of technical difficulties with the mechanical shark. Being on a tight schedule, they decided to film without it. We don’t even see the shark until much later in the movie. 

Turns out, not seeing the shark was so much more terrifying. What we imagine in our own heads, is so much scarier than anything Steven Spielberg could come up with and he used that to his advantage.

Our fear of failure is a lot like that. We imagine how bad it’s going to be and what everyone is going to think of us. Our imaginations run wild.

All because we’re worried we won’t get it right on the first try.

Of course it won’t be perfect on the first try. Why do we think we’re suppose to get it right on the first try?

Part of the problem is that we don’t see successful people fail. We don’t see them until they succeed and then we call them an overnight success. The thing about these overnight successes is most of them spent many years failing before they earned their success. 

We need to see the journey to success from the beginning to help normalize failure. Then maybe we can stop being afraid of our own failure long enough to learn from it. Who knows, maybe we’ll even stop calling it failure and instead recognize what it truly is…LEARNING.

Steps to Fail Forward

  • Use positive affirmations for your goals and to face your fears. (Try some of the affirmations at the end of this post.)
  • Visualize not only your end goal, but overcoming the obstacles to get there. 
  • When setting goals, make sure to add learning to your goals. For example don’t just have ‘write a book’ as your goal, include ‘learning all about the steps to writing a book’ as one of your goals. This way you are learning, not failing and you can revel in that sense of accomplishment. 
  • Look at all possible outcomes, best case and worst case scenarios. Once you have looked at all of the potential outcomes, ask yourself honestly what the most likely outcome is and if that happens, would it be the end of the world? Would you survive it? 
  • Change your perspective. Remember failure is simply an opportunity to learn. So give yourself permission to fail knowing that it is bringing you closer to success.
  • Try EFT tapping. If you are still struggling to face the fear of failure try the tapping video above. 

Make positive changes for yourself and others by learning the simple 4 step process of Self-Hypnosis The Priority Academy Self Hypnosis Practitioner – Master the Art of Self Hypnosis

Affirmations to Overcome the Fear of Failure

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86 Comments

  1. I do worry that we don’t give young people chances to win and fail. Failing teaches you so much.

    Reply

  2. Shifting how we approach failure as you’ve outlined in your post is really useful. I think most of the time a failure is an opportunity to really learn something and that any moment like this is never wasted. I love the idea of ‘failing forward’ — such a great new perspective. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply

  3. Ive actually never heard of the phrase Failing Forward, so this is new to me! I think we all have a funny relationship with failure. I’ve failed many, many times but I’m not scared of trying something for fear of it. If you don’t try, then you’ll never know.

    Reply

  4. This is such a great and informative post. I haven’t really heard of “failing forward” before. Thanks so much for sharing!

    Reply

  5. Wow! This is an amazing article. Failing is an important part of life and it’s important to learn good coping skill for moving forward and applying those failures into future experiences. Great article!

    Reply

  6. Such an awesome post, Tiffany! I love that this post is all about normalizing failure! We have so much pressure in the world already and so many people feeling the need to judge our every move but we forget that failure doesn’t have to be a bad thing! We fail, we learn, we improve. I’m watching your EFT video while typing this! xx

    Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

    Reply

  7. I guess you motivate me a ton through this blog, Metaphysical Mama!!
    Failure is a necessary component of success. We need to fail in order to course correct.
    When we fail, we are given valuable information that we can learn from and use to move closer to success.
    Those who read this blog, get a bit of motivation for their further steps.
    Thanks for sharing

    Reply

  9. I absolutely agree, failing is good! It gives us the opportunity to learn and teaches that you don’t have to be perfect all the time. Great post!

    Reply

  11. This is a really helpful blog post, full of useful information and how you can change your life.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Lauren
    bournemouthgirl.com

    Reply

    1. Thanks Caroline! I’ve always struggled with the idea of failure as well. I find by pushing yourself just a little bit at a time, it becomes easier. Eventually you are doing things you never imagined possible. xx

      Reply

  15. I’ve practiced this but never heard of it being called “fail forward” but I think
    That is such an appropriate name. It helps redefine what failure is by re wiring our
    Vocabulary and speech. Ive used this technique to get out of some high anxiety
    Situations.

    Thank you for sharing such great information with the community always 🙂

    -Gigi Lee | https://www.guidancebygigi.com

    Reply

  16. I love this post – what great advice for how failure is not always as bad an as big as we may perceive it at the time! I love the affirmations you’ve shared as well as the idea of normalizing fear as it’s not a bad thing! What you said about not seeing successful people fail is so true, it really does easily cultivate fear when that is what being viewed without seeing the challenges that came with getting there! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Reply

  17. Great post! I think failure plays a big part in my life and you’re right that we grow up learning that failure is bad and try to avoid failing. However, when we do this we don’t try in life and take healthy risks that could lead to our happiness. I like that you focus on the potential positives when taking the brave step to face potential failure.

    Reply

    1. Fear of failure can definitely prevent you from taking healthy risks. Although we can’t change our past, we can retrain ourselves to have a healthier view of failure. Thanks so much for your comment!

      Reply

  18. Everything you mentioned is so true. Failing is part of the growth process. Sometimes we are afraid to start because we don’t want to fail. Other times we go for it, fail and then are afraid to go for it again. At the end of the day, we just have to accept that if we want to change things for ourselves, we have to be bold enough to risk failure, because in reality, it’s not about failing, it’s about improving your skills, knowledge and self. Great post Tiffany!

    Reply

  19. Great article and much needed with the idea of perfectionism which abounds so intrusively through society. Many people don’t know how to fail with purpose, and your article has really shown why it is so important and how we can learn from it.

    Reply

  20. Our society teaches us to fear or avoid failure, unfortunately, doing so ultimately holds us back. The advice that you have here is SO important. I would love to see this be an ongoing conversation that continues to spread and inspire many, many others to embrace the opportunities that failure can bring us. It’s not a horrible thing, it’s not a tragedy, it’s not an end… it’s just the beginning!

    Reply

    1. I would love to see this be an ongoing conversation as well. I think we would all benefit from learning how to embrace failure instead of avoiding it. Thanks so much for your comment Britt!

      Reply

  22. I love that you’re normalising failure, definitely something I wish I saw more often online! Love the tip about adding a learning curve to goals, that’s a great idea!

    Reply

    1. I really like one too and am using to help myself feel more comfortable with failure. Making learning part of your goal is a great way to eliminate the fear of failure. As long as you are learning, you are successful. Thanks so much for your comment!

      Reply

  24. I’ve always been afraid to fail and that’s definitely prevented me from doing a lot of things in my life! Amazing post, thank you for sharing and putting things into perspective for me xx

    Reply

  25. As a younger generation, I definitely agree that we have also been taught how bad failure is and only portray the best version of ourselves everywhere. Sometimes breaking down our “perfect composure” and trying something new even to fail is so important!

    Reply

  26. Lovely post! Failure is often looked at in a negative light, when in reality it teaches us a lot about ourselves. Failing doesn’t mean we should give up and beat ourselves up. Life is full of learning lessons and if something doesn’t work out the first time, we can try again with a new perspective. I also love the affirmations. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply

  30. Absolutely loved reading this and couldn’t agree more! I also tried the tapping session with the video for the first time, and must say that I feel much better! I think that failure should be seen as more than what it is, as you said a chance to try again! x

    Reply

  32. I had never heard of failing forward and it was a great initial read on it for sure, Tiffany! I need to change my mindset and adapt it to feel like failure is not bad, is just another step of moving forward.

    Reply

  33. What an amazing post. I couldn’t agree more. I especially like this part, “Failure is a necessary component of success. We need to fail in order to course correct. When we fail, we are given valuable information that we can learn from and use to move closer to success.”

    I m currently on my own personal development journey and slowing learning and embracing this concept of failing forward. Yes, let’s call failure learning because that is what it truly is. Thanks for sharing this post.

    Reply

  35. I love the idea of failing forward an re-writing the narrative around failing. When researching resilience I found a study that said, until you fail at something we simply don’t know how resilient you are. It really resonated with me. Better to fail when you’re young and learn how to overcome your mistakes and do better next time. Seeing it as a learning curve. Than be punished and grow up in fear of it!

    Reply

  36. This is a great reminder for me. I am always worry about failing. I think my mental health problem did not help. I will have to try your affirmations and other tips. I am learning not to worry about failing, but it can be hard. Thank you for sharing this post.

    Reply

  37. I used to be terrified of failing, but now I realize that it’s about growing. Growing means making mistakes and learning along the way. Every experience I have, every mistake and every success has made me the person I am and I am very grateful to be the person I am.

    Reply

  38. This is a really useful post. Personal growth is something I am working on and this is a very helpful reminder. Thank you for sharing.

    Lauren – bournemouthgirl

    Reply

  39. I love the positivity in this post! I appreciate the reframing of failure (can we just say something was unsuccessful?) and that the things we learn from it allow us to modify, retry and become successful. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  40. This post reminds me of a TedTalk where the guy set out to fail at something everyday for a year (the details are fuzzy) but it was a very enriching experience for him. I agree with you, failure should not keep you back. In fact, it’s very much part of the process of succeeding 🙂

    All the best, Michelle (michellesclutterbox.com)

    Reply

  41. I love this. I have definitely failed forward, and sometimes it takes time to see the lesson but it’s always there. This is such a good mindset shift for students to build at the start of their careers – I’ll be sharing this on Twitter! Thank you.

    Reply

  43. Love this!! I didn’t like the saying when I heard it either, especially because at the time I felt like a failure! But over time, I have realized that you’re not starting again from nothing, you’re starting from experience *cliche* but true! Also, the other one is that those who never fail never try anything new and it’s really important to come at it with that perspective. Thanks for this great article 🙂

    Reply

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