The Money Mindset: Keeping Moms From Moving Forward
I am so grateful to Sarah from Simply Freedom with Money Coach Sarah for writing todays guest post on Money Mindset. Sarah single handedly taught me how to budget and helped me learn how to get my finances in order. Let me tell you, it was not an easy feat. If you need help with your finances, Sarah is definitely the person to talk to. You can find her at moneycoachsarah.com/
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Why is Money Mindset Important?
Have you ever done something without consciously realizing it? Either a habit loop or mindset, affects how we go about our daily life – often without us even noticing. The way we think about money impacts how we interact with money – our spending, saving; all of what we do with our money is directly related to how we think about it. So, how do you think about money?
Do you often think that you don’t have any money? Or do you tell yourself you do have money and charge your credit card? These thoughts impact how we feel about money, which determines our actions we take with it. These actions are what build our reality – whether we are broke or living in surplus.
As moms, we are often the caretakers of every member of our family. We keep things working, handle appointments with ease, make sure everyone has clean socks, groceries in the fridge, and the baby gets her bath regularly. We also predominantly take care of the finances – making sure bills are paid on time, and we have enough to get us through the month.
But there is often no one to take care of us. And when mama doesn’t get taken care of, she can burn out. Our mindsets around money often show up when we’re burned out, bored, or feeling emotional. Which of the following mindsets resonates with you most?
The Spoiling Yourself Misconception
If you are beginning to be conscious of your money, your spending, and thinking about some goals for yourself, the first instinct is to hunker down, and quit spending altogether. We look at how much we have, how much we need, and think that that is enough. We forget that it’s taken us a lifetime to build the habits we have, the mindset around money, and it may take some time to curb those habits and achieve your goal.
This often shows up when we’re shopping at the store as, “I never spend money on myself, I deserve this purchase.” And then proceeded to make a purchase for yourself, on something less than necessary?
…and how many times have you made a purchase like that per month? I’ve found that this mentality is all too common among moms, and found it to be detrimental to achieving financial goals among my clients. While feeling like we don’t get to buy anything for ourselves, we are simultaneously overspending and keeping ourselves further from our goals.
What if instead, we told ourselves that we have some money to spend, within reason. Give yourself some money to spend each month, say $50 or $100 that you can spend guilt-free and have fun with. This, instead of the $250 monthly on impulse buys that you were doing before while feeling strapped beyond belief? I’d say that’s a win! This mindset shift lets you have fun each month, while getting closer to your goals.
Money Mindset – Scarcity
Scarcity shows up in two different ways: either you never had money so you feel like you have to spend it immediately (because you never know when you’ll get money again and you have to prepare for that, or enjoy yourself while you have cash), or you never had money so you feel like you can’t spend money ever, and you feel guilty anytime you do have to spend money, especially on major purchases (furniture, appliances, vehicle, etc).
The first scarcity mindset shows up worse physically – you generally have a hard time saving money. The second scarcity mindset shows up worse emotionally – if you have any money, you have a hard time spending it. Feelings of guilt are rampant, and buyer’s remorse can take any joy out of spending.
Money Mindset – Overabundance
This mindset shows up when you are used to having money around, and haven’t had to think about money, saving, etc too much in the past. Your reality doesn’t match with your mindset now – you want to buy certain items, brands, or types of products, but find that you don’t have the capital to make it happen anymore.
To negate this overabundance allure, consider a shift in this mindset so that you are comfortable making short term changes. Once you are closer to your goals, you are more than welcome to go back to buying and doing the things you prefer once again.
The Perfect Mindset… does it exist?
The Perfect Mindset, which I call a Wealth mindset, is a blend of spending just enough money to live a happy, fulfilled life, while still maintaining saving and investing goals for your future. Wealth looks mindfully at your habits, cuts out extraneous expenses, sets priorities for you to enjoy (such as that daily Starbucks run), and makes sure there is enough leftover at the end of the month for saving, investing, and planning for retirement or your next trip.
Take a Step
Recognize this mindset in yourself. When does the urge to make purchases happen? Is it when you see an item you want, when you are bored, when you feel lonely, or when you’re peeved with your spouse? When your kids stress you out? Impulse spending hits us when we’re emotionally vulnerable in this way. The first step to making lasting change to reach your money goals is to become self-aware of your spending habits and the mindset behind them. Tracking your spending is the first step in raising your awareness, which will help you to make or break habits in the future.
What Can You Do?
The best part about realizing which mindset you have about money is that you can change it moving forward. You don’t have to stay stuck where you’re at right now! It starts by raising awareness, and recognizing the mindset that you want to have.
Then you can ask yourself, “Would someone with a Wealth Mindset do this? How would she feel about what I’m doing with my money currently? How can I do things more like she would?”
After you start this shift, it will get easier and easier, until that wealth mindset becomes yours – and as easy as breathing.
How does yours add up?
Which mindset resonated with you most? Did you have a mindset other than the ones listed? We’d love to hear about it! Drop us a comment or send us an email. 🙂
Have you ever worried about money?
Sarah is a money coach, and she helps moms eliminate financial stress in 90 days so they can spend guilt-free without a restrictive budget. She’ll coach you to set priorities, goals, and give you the steps to take customized for your journey. She’s the mama to three girls all under age 6 and loves to travel. You can find her at moneycoachsarah.com or join her facebook community for free financial strategy calls twice weekly @Simply Freedom with Money Coach Sarah.
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Hey great post, I definitely resonate with the mindset of Scarcity, I should really learn new ways to stop this ♥
Recognizing our money mindset is the first step to being able to change it. Thanks for your comment!
This post is so great. I have a terrible relationship with money, from emotional spending to the scarcity mentality that you talked about here. I think you’ve made me realise some things about how I look at money and I’m very happy to be introduced to this wealth mindset. Thanks for an illuminating post.
You’re very welcome! I’m so glad this helped you to recognize your own money mindset.
This is such an interesting topic. I’m forever telling myself that I don’t have any money, even when its not the case.
It’s amazing how our mindset effects our financial wellbeing. Thanks for the comment Kelly!
What a helpful post! Thanks for sharing this Tiffany & Sarah – this is packed with great info about money mindset that honestly I didn’t know much about! Thanks for sharing this 🙂
Thanks for the comment Alex! I’m so glad you found it helpful! 😊
I’m not a mum but know that a money mindset can be an important step to focus on whether something is a ‘want’ or a ‘need’ and what impulse is driving that. Really interesting post — thanks for sharing!
Money mindset definitely applies to all of us, whether we’re parents or not. I’m so glad you found it interesting! Thanks for leaving a comment!
I love this post even though I’m not a mom. My mom has often spoken about the importance of over abundance and it’s so true.
Thanks Riyah! I’m glad you liked it!
This is such a great post! I used to be the person who would say ‘I deserve to treat myself’ but I would say it numerous times a month and not set a budget. But the last few years I have let go of 70% of my things and I no longer feel the need to treat myself with meaningless things. Now I’m more concerned with saving money before spending it.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the comment!
This was such an interesting post! I just started learning more about finances and money, so this comes just at the right time. I want to start having a better mindset towards money, I have always felt like I spend money not out of necessity and then regretted it, but I am learning more about savings now, thanks for sharing x
Thank you Christina! I’m so glad this post came at the right time for you. I’m just learning more about finances too and how much our mindset can effect how we approach it.
What a great guest post, Tiffany! Money has always been hard for me to handle and putting restrictions on myself made it even more difficult. I love all the points in this post from Sarah. I focus on money abundance especially throughout this year. Thanks a bunch for this post! x
Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
You’re very welcome Lynn! I’m so glad you found it helpful.
I feel like everyone who reads this post will really get some help from it. I think we all struggle with money mindsets at times but this post is really helpful. Thank you so much for sharing Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
Thanks so much Elle! I agree, we all can benefit from working on our money mindset.
Really interesting post! I definitely relate to sometimes spending a bit of money on myself, though overall I make sure to not overspend & find any discount code aha x
Thanks Caroline! I love finding discount codes!
This is such a great mindset to have. Thanks for sharing all this information!
Thanks for the comment Charity! Having a wealth mindset is definitely the way to go!
I definitely have a love-hate relationship with money. I do need to work on my money mindset regularly. Excelllent post, thank you for sharing.
Thanks! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
I definitely need to find some balance. I’m so bad at spending money on myself. I always feel so guilty when I spend money on me. But I’m always happy to spend money if it’s on other people or our home. I’ve only started noticing it recently. But your post really helped me think this through and why I might feel this way.
Thanks for your comment! It sounds like you and I have a similar money mindset. I’m glad this post has helped you. I’ve been lucky enough to work with Sarah on my mindset and she has done wonders!
Very interesting read, I definitely worry about money and never want to spend it just incase something happens. Amazing how there’s different money mindsets.
Thanks so much for reading!
As I have gotten older I have learned to have a better mindset with money. When I was younger and I first got a job, I would spend so much money. I realize now to save and plan, and budget. I have such a better relationship with money.
Thanks so much for the comment! It’s a shame that most of us don’t learn about our money mindset until we’re older. I shudder to think about how I was with money when I was young.
I used to believe that I never had enough money and because I had this belief i wouldn’t have enough money. When I changed my mindset to believe that I had as much money as I needed I managed to even make some savings each month. However, I think that I often fall for the “Spoiling Yourself Misconception” mindset thinking that I don’t spend enough to treat myself and ending up to make lots of impulsive purchases. Thank you for this post. It helped me realize how my mindset changed while growing up 🙂
Thanks for your comment! It’s amazing how our thoughts manifest our reality! 😊
I’m so glad this post has helped you recognize how your money mindset has changed.
Great post! It is good to compare different money mindsets, and to be aware that it is possible to change your own money mindset. Years ago my husband & I had a lot of debt we struggled with. It took some effort to change our money mindset, but once we did, it helped us get out & stay out of debt. In addition, we learned to take that focused intensity to help us catch up retirement savings. Another important money mindset if you’re behind in retirement savings is “You’re not too old & it’s not too late!”
“You’re not too old and it’s not too late” is a great mindset! Thanks for sharing!
Oooh I love anything to do with money mindset it’s something I worked a lot on a few years ago and had a huge positive impact on me. Although I’m not a mum, I can relate to a lot of this x
Thanks so much for your comment! I agree, working on money mindset can have such a huge impact. Working on mine with Sarah has been a game changer for me!
Love the idea of Wealth Mentality! Can always find something to feel wealthy about and amplify that! Thank you!
Thanks so much for your comment! I love how you put it, “find something to feel wealthy about and amplify that!”
Wonderful post. I love the idea of setting money aside for spending, versus overspending and splurging. It’s such a simple piece of advice but it’s one that we don’t really think about. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much! When Sarah first introduced me to the idea of putting aside money for spending, I was amazed at how well it worked. Sometimes it’s the simplest solutions that have the biggest impact! 😊
I enjoyed reading this Tiffany! I definitely need to find the balance between spending and saving money. I’m having a hard time saving money because I don’t set a monthly budget – but I don’t spend so much in a month. This is really bad! Thank you for sharing the post, it’s really helpful 🙂
Thanks for the comment Merry! Making a monthly budget is an great habit to get into. I can’t recommend it highly enough. If you find yourself struggling with it, I suggest you reach out to Sarah. She is amazing at helping you set up a monthly plan.
This post is such an important discussion to have! I feel that a lot of people don’t understand their motivations behind their spending so this is such a great post! Having been in a financially abusive relationship in the past, I’ve had to work hard to overcome the scarcity mindset. I still struggle to spend money sometimes out of fear that I will end up not having any, but I’ve come a long way with it.
I agree, so many of us have no idea what the motivation is behind our spending and saving habits. It can be really eye opening when we explore those motivations. Thanks for the comment!
I have a ridiculous mentality with money, and this is because of my bipolar diagnosis. I’ve bookmarked this article as there is a lot of information that will be worth holding onto. Many thanks for this.
Thanks so much for the comment Lou! I’m so glad you found this post helpful! If you ever need any extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out to Sarah our myself.
This is very interesting! We do need to balance and spend money as we work but right we are saving money for a big trip. But always have the mindset to work for more.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this post! Thanks for your comment!
This is a very informative post. Having kids is expensive and you do not want to have the stress of money! This is a very helpful blog post.
Thank you for sharing.
Lauren – bournemouthgirl.com
I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading Lauren!
Having read The Wealthy Barber by David Chilton in my twenties (many years ago) I’ve always loved the concept of pay yourself first – 10% that goes directly to something like a trip or a larger, really desired purchase. This has always worked for my hubby and I. Financial security has always been important and avoid unnecessary stress on a relationship. Your post has lots of other great tips and I thank you for posting this!
I’m glad you liked the post. Paying yourself first is a great concept and a good one to remember! Thanks so much for your comment!